Northern Lights

had a right to look out for my future."
    "I would've been good to you, and for you. I'd have been good to Meg. But you chose differently. You chose this." He spread his hands to indicate The Lodge. "You earned it. You worked hard. You built it up. And while Karl was alive, you still came to me. And I let you. To me and to others."
    "Karl wasn't after sex, or hardly. He wanted a partner, someone to take care of him and this place. I kept my end," she said passionately. "We had an understanding."
    "You took care of him and this place. And when he died, you kept taking care. I've lost track of the times I've asked you to marry me, Charlene, the number of times you've said no. The number of times I've watched you go off with someone else or slide into my bed when there wasn't someone else. I'm done with it."
    "I don't want to get married, so you're just going to take off ?"
    "You slept with that man the other night. Part of the hunting group. The tall one with dark hair."
    She jerked up her chin. "So what?"
    "What was his name?"
    She opened her mouth, realized her mind was blank. She couldn't remember a face, much less a name, and barely remembered the groping in the dark. "What do I care," she snapped out. "It was just sex."
    "You're not going to find what you're looking for, not with nameless men nearly half your age. But if you have to keep looking, I can't stop you. That's been clear enough right from the start of this. But I can stop being your fallback position."
    "Go on, then." She scooped up a pile of paperwork from her desk, threw it into the air. "I won't care."
    "I know. If you did, really did, I wouldn't go."
    He stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him.
     
     
    HE WAS DAZZLED BY THE LIGHT. Nate couldn't get enough of it, no matter how long the day lasted, he wanted more. He could feel it penetrating flesh and bone, charging him.
    He hadn't woken from a nightmare in days.
    He woke to light, worked and walked through it in the day. He thought in it and ate in it; he soaked in it.
    And each night he watched the sun slide down behind the mountains, he knew it would rise again in a few hours.
    There were still nights when he'd slip out of Meg's bed, walk out with the dogs for company to watch the lights play havoc with the night sky.
    He could still feel the wound, throbbing under the scars on his body. But he thought the pain was a healing one now. He hoped to God it was. A kind of acceptance for what he'd lost and an opening to what he could have.
    For the first time since he'd left Baltimore, he called Jack's wife, Beth.
    "I just wanted to know how you were. You and the kids."
    "We're okay. We're good. It's been a year since . . ."
    He knew. A year today.
    "Today's a little rough. We went out this morning, took him flowers. The firsts are the hardest. The first holiday, first birthday, first anniversary. But you get through it, and it's a little easier. I thought—hoped— you'd call today. I'm so glad you did."
    "I wasn't sure you'd want to hear from me."
    "We miss you, Nate. Me and the kids. I worry about you."
    "I'm okay, too. Better."
    "Tell me what it's like there. Is it awfully cold and quiet?"
    "Actually, it's around sixty today. As for quiet . . ." He looked over at his board. "Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty quiet. We've had some flooding. Not as bad as in the southeast but enough to keep us busy. It's beautiful."
    He turned to his window now. "Like nothing you can imagine. You have to see it, and even then it's hard to imagine."
    "You sound good. I'm glad you sound good."
    "I didn't think I'd make it here." Anywhere. "I wanted to. I didn't care so much until I got here. Until I was here, and then I wanted to. But I didn't think I would."
    "Now?"
    "I think I will. Beth, I met someone."
    "Oh?" There was a laugh in her voice, and he closed his eyes to hear it. "Is she wonderful?"
    "Spectacular, in so many ways. I think you'd like her. She's not like anybody else. She's a bush pilot."
    "A bush pilot? Isn't that one of those people who fly around in those tiny planes like maniacs?"
    "Pretty much. She's beautiful. Well, she's not, but she is. She's funny and tough, and she's probably crazy, but it fits her. Her name's Meg. Megan Galloway, and I'm in love with her."
    "Oh, Nate. I'm so happy for you."
    "Don't cry," he said when he heard the tears.
    "No, it's good. Jack would find a million ways to tease you, but under it, he'd have been happy for you, too."
    "Well, anyway, I just wanted to tell you.