On an Edge of Glass

advice.”
    I hold my face still and close my eyes.  “Nooooo,” I say slowly, deliberately.  “What I meant was… you’re right that I’m taking everything too far.  I am obsessing over Ben.  But that’s not the plan.  It’s not what I want or what I need right now.  This is my last year of college and I promised myself that I’d be completely serious about school so that I’d get the grades that I need for Columbia.  I don’t think I have enough brain cells to worry about Ben Hamilton and my classes and the LSAT at the same time.  So, the plan is to forget about him and his awful ex-girlfriend, and focus on prepping for the exam and that research paper I have due in nine days.”
    Mark’s silence is as big and loud as a sigh.  I don’t look because I don’t want to see the disappointment on his face.  Just feeling it is enough for me.
    Finally, he speaks.  “Ellie, you do realize that this is the worst plan ever?”
    “No, I think the worst plan ever was when you told the bouncer at Cellar 98 that you were Brad Pitt’s nephew freshman year.”
    “Whatever.  He would have let me in if you hadn’t started giggling uncontrollably.”
    I grin at the sky and the memory.  “Sure he would have.”
    I do n’t have to look to know that Mark is rolling his eyes at me.
     
     
    The plan should have worked.  The plan is perfect.  Ignore Ben and pay attention to my classes and the fast-accumulating mountain of work I have to get through before the end of the semester.  I even volunteer to help one of my professors catalog material for a research project.  He’s thrilled and my mind is occupied with busy work for an extra four hours on Tuesday afternoon. 
    The benefit for me is that w hile my brain is stuffed full of school and studying, there’s no room for Ben to tiptoe around up there.   
    It’s all going well until Payton, Ainsley and I make our weekly trip to the grocery store.  We’re at a standstill in the dairy section debating between a strawberry or peach yogurt pack.
    “Oh, let’s just get both,” I say, grabbing a yogurt pack in each hand and putting them in the shopping cart.
    “Fine.”  Payton shimmi es aside to let an elderly couple pass by us.  “But like I was saying, I seriously think that we should have a Halloween party on Friday night.”
    “Ohmigosh , yes!”  Ainsley bounces and claps her small hands in front of her body like she’s making exclamation points in the air.  “It will be a costume extravaganza!” 
    I rear back bringing the shopping cart with me.  “A costume party?”
    Payton wears her annoyance openly, snapping her finger against the strap of her black canvas purse.  “Yeah, Ellie.  I know that sounds shocking on Halloween and all, but…”  She stops and grabs a bottle of cranberry juice from a shelf and hands it to me.  I place it next to the gallon of skim milk we’ve already put in the cart.
    “You know what I mean…”   I pause, biting the inside of my cheek.  “A costume party?  It’s just so cliché and expected.”
    Payton puts her hands on her hips.  Her dark-lined hazel eyes are luminous under the florescent grocery store lights.  “Costumes expected on Halloween?  Yes, Ellie.  Call me old fashioned, but I like wearing my costumes on October 31 st instead of on Flag day.”
    I laugh .
    Ainsley pulls on my hand.  Her slender fingers slide along my palm.  “ Please Ellie.  It will be completely awesome and you won’t have to do a thing for the party.  I promise!”
    “It’s not that— ” I begin but Ainsley is still talking over me. 
    “ Laurie and I were saying yesterday that we don’t have any good Halloween plans to look forward to ever since Sigma Chi cancelled their shindig.  Now, we could be the hosts of the best party this town has ever seen.”  Her blue eyes skip over me excitedly.  “Please, please, please !”
    I mak e a dismissive sound, but I can’t help the smile that spreads across the lower half of my face.  Both girls cheer when they see it because they know that they’ve won.  Payton starts listing off all of the alcohol we need to get in the next two days.  Ainsley is taking notes on her phone.  
    I clear my throat, interrupting the frenzied planning to ask the question that flitted through my head the second that the word “party” came up.  “Should we talk to Ben about this?  Do you think he’s going to mind if we have a party at the house?”
    My