Once More With Footnotes

where their writ does not run. Jailers don't like escapism. Probably the man in the cave got the occasional wallop from the clan leaders. Telling stories can be dangerous.
     
                  And now, welcome to the map of invisible places ...
     
                  And pass the mammoth ribs, please.
     
                 

I re-read this twelve years later and thought: w ow, I must have been having a really bad day, do I still believe this?
     
    And the answer is yes, for a given value of "yes".
     
    In 1992, the b oom in fantasy that had begun in the mid-'80s had just reached, the crest of the wave. You couldn't move for the stuff, local and imported. A lot of it was good, but a much it was bad — not necessarily badly written, but bad in that it brought nothing to th e party. I recall an issue of Locu s magazine that discussed or advertised three different titles that included a Dark Lord as the enemy (no, none of them was LOTR). Oh, dear. Dark Lords should be rationed.
     
    Convention bookstalls were crowded with the stuff. The covers had a certain sameness. There were good books in there, but how could you tell? So many unicorns, dragons, quests, elves ... heroic fantasy was feeding on itself.
     
    Bad for fantasy, good for me; it was a target-rich environment.
     
    Anyway, that wa s then ... I feel a lot calmer now. Probably it would be a good idea if I kept away from Disneyworld for a while.
     
     
     
     
     
E lves W ere B astards
     
                  I'm called a writer of fantasy, but I'm coming to hate the term. Why? Because what could be so good is often so bad. Because there's so much trash out there, so much round-eyed worship of mind-numbing myths, so much mindless recycling of ancient cycles, so much unthinking escapism.
     
                  I'm not against recycling. The seasons do it. So do pantomimes, so do fairy stories . The retelling of oft-told tales is an honourable art — but there should be some attempt at texture and flair. Star Wars was the quintessential heroic fantasy story, with just enough twist and spin to give it an extra edge. Robocop retold an ancient tale in a new voice and was marvellous;
     
                  Robocop II was superexpensive trash because people didn't understand what they'd got.
     
                  Unfortunately, there's still a market for rubbish. I picked up a recently-written fantasy book at the weekend, and one character said of another: "He will grow wrath." Oh, my God. And the phrase was in a page of similar jaw-breaking, mock-archaic narrative. Belike, i'faith ... this is the language we use to turn high fantasy into third-rate romantic literature. "Yonder lies the palace o f my fodder, the king." That's not fantasy — that's just Tolkien reheated until the magic boils away.
     
                  I get depressed with these fluffy dragons and noble elves. Elves were never noble. They were cruel bastards. And I dislike heroes. You can't trust the bug gers. They always let you down. I don't believe in the natural nobility of kings, because a large percentage of them in our history have turned out to be powercrazed idiots. And I certainly don't believe in the wisdom of wizards. I've worked with their mo d ern equivalents, and I know what I am talking about.
     
                  Fantasy should present the familiar in a new light — I try to do that on Discworld. It's a way of looking at the here and now, not the there and then. Fantasy is the Ur-literature, from which everything else sprang — which is why my knuckles go white when toe-sucking literary critics dismiss it as "genre trash". And, at its best, it is truly escapist.
     
                  But the point about escaping is that you should escape to, as well as from. You should go somewhere wort hwhile, and come back the better for the experience. Too much alleged "fantasy" is just empty sugar, life with the crusts cut off.
     
                  I'm writing this in Florida, home of fantasy — either the soft that you watch, or the sort that you stick up your nose. They' ve got some weird stuff here; for one thing, they've got Disney/MGM and Universal Studios.
     
                  And this is what's weird about them. They aren't really studios. Oh, they shoot some film here, but that's kind of secondary. They weren't built as studios. They w ere built as ... well, as theme