One Tiny Lie A Novel

wanted.
    I throw the door open and storm out. “I was not drunk and he did not force me into anything!” The words come out in an angry gasp. “He has never forced me. Never once .”
    The two men turn to face me, the one on the left wearing nothing but track pants and shaking his head in a “why-did-you-come-out-here” way, the one on the right full of shock and barely concealed rage.
    “Never once.” Connor’s tone has evened again, but I don’t think it’s a sign of him calming. I think it’s a sign of him ready to blow. “How many times have there been, Livie? And for how long?”
    Now that I’ve set the record straight—that what Ashton and I shared was not a crime scene—my anger has vanished, leaving me trembling and unable to speak once more.
    “How long!” he repeats in a bark.
    “Always!” I burst, wincing as the truth comes out. “Since the first second I met him. Before I met you.”
    Connor turns to look at his roommate, his best friend, whose eyes haven’t left mine, an unreadable expression in them. “Un-fucking-believable. That night with the tattoo . . . You’ve been fucking her since then?”
    “No!” The word flies out of our mouths in unison.
    Connor is shaking his head dismissively. “I can’t believe you would do this to me. Of all the whores you bring in and out of here . . . you had to turn her into one too.”
    “Watch it.” Ashton’s body visibly stiffens and I see his hand clenching, but he stays still.
    Connor doesn’t seem to care, though. Gritting his teeth, he studies the hardwood for a moment, shaking his head. When he finally looks at me again, I can see the impact of this on his face; his normally bright green eyes are now dull, as if the pilot light has finally been extinguished.
    And I’m the one who put it out.
    “What happened to taking it slow, Livie? What? You figured you’d jerk me around for a bit while you also screwed around with my best friend?” He turns to yell “My best friend!” with added emphasis.
    I’m shaking my head frantically. “It wasn’t like that. It just . . . things have changed.”
    “Oh really?” He steps forward. “What else has changed?”
    “Everything!” I cry out, brushing away a sudden tear.“My future. The hospital. Princeton, maybe?” I hadn’t realized it until just now, but this place . . . it’s all that the catalogues, the websites, the hype promised, and yet it’s not what I want. It’s not home. It never will be. I want to be back in Miami, with my family. I’m not ready to leave them yet. The only thing that I do want at Princeton is standing silently, his arms crossed over his bare chest, as I spill my guts. “You and I . . . we don’t belong together.” Connor flinches as if I stuck him, but I keep going. “I’m in love in Ashton. He understands me. I understand him.” A quick glance over at Ashton finds his eyes now squeezed tight as if he’s in pain.
    Something that looks like pity fills Connor’s face. “You think you understand him, Livie? Really? You think you know him?”
    I swallow to keep my voice steady. “I don’t think. I know .”
    “Do you know how many women he’s had in this room? In that bed?” His hand lifts to point toward it for effect. I force my chin up, trying to be strong. I don’t want to know. It doesn’t matter. He’s with me now. “I hope you at least used condoms.”
    Condoms.
    I completely forget. It was just too intense.
    The color draining from my face says it all.
    Connor dips his head, shaking it with disappointment. “Jesus, Livie. I thought you were smarter than that.”
    Ashton hasn’t said a word. Not a word to defend himself, or us. He stands quietly, watching this entire disaster with sad, resigned eyes.
    The three of us stand facing each other in a misshapen triangle, the air between us choking thick and toxic, the lies swirling visibly on the outside while the truth of what Ashton and I have disappears into nothingness.
    That’s how Dana finds us. “What’s going on?”
    Honest fear contorts Ashton’s face for just a moment before vanishing, leaving his complexion three shades paler. “What are you doing here?”
    “I thought I’d surprise you,” she says, stepping into the room so carefully that you’d think the floor was riddled with land mines.
    Connor crosses his arms over his chest. “Why don’t you tell her, Livie? Go on . . . tell her what you just told me.” Connor stares at me. Ashton