Only 04 - Only Love

But he was going to have answers anyway, for Whip, too, was hurting.
    “If I thought you didn’t care for Whip,” Caleb said calmly, “I wouldn’t have said a word about any of this to you. But I’ve seen you watching him. It’s the way Eve watches Reno, the way Jessi watches Wolfe, the—”
    “—way Willow watches you,” Shannon finished for Caleb. “I’m sorry. I don’t have much practice at hiding my feelings.”
    “There’s no need,” Willow said, putting the bowlof stew on the table. “You’re among friends, here. You know that, don’t you?”
    Shannon nodded and tried to speak. Tears threatened to overflow her long, dark lashes.
    Willow put her arms around Shannon and hugged her like a child.
    “Then why can’t you stay with us?” Willow asked softly.
    Shannon hugged Willow in return, took a deep, broken breath, and tried to make Whip’s sister understand.
    “How would you feel,” Shannon asked, “if you loved Caleb and he wanted something more than he wanted you and he left you?”
    Willow’s breath came in swiftly. She stepped back, wanting to see Shannon’s eyes. Then she wished she hadn’t.
    “How would you feel,” Shannon said painfully, “if, after Caleb left, you lived in his sister’s house, saw Caleb in his sister’;s sun-bright hair and catlike eyes, saw Caleb in his sister’s child, a dimple in one corner of the baby’s smile…you saw all this and you knew every day, every breath, every heartbeat, that there would be no baby for you, no home, no mate to share your life?”
    “I couldn’t bear it,” Willow said. “Loving Caleb, knowing he didn’t love me, being reminded of it everywhere I looked…. It would kill me.”
    “Yes,” Shannon whispered.
    She turned to Caleb, who was watching her with troubled eyes while his big hand stroked Willow’s hair in silent love.
    “That’s why I can’t stay,” Shannon said to him.
    “Is that what you told Whip?” he asked. “Is that why he looked like he had a knife in his guts?”
    Shannon shook her head slowly, sending veils ofautumn-colored hair sliding over her shoulders.
    “No,” she said in a husky voice. “That’s not what I told him.”
    “Why not?” Caleb asked.
    “It would have been like asking him to stay…begging him. I won’t do that.”
    “Too proud?”
    Caleb’s voice was gentle but his eyes were the unflinching amber of a bird of prey.
    He didn’t have all of his answers yet.
    “Too practical,” Shannon corrected with a bittersweet smile. “Watching my mama and papa taught me how bad things can get when a man wants one thing and a woman wants another. He left and she took laudanum for the pain. For the first time, I understand why she did it. And I hope it worked.”
    “Does that mean I have to lock up the laudanum?” Caleb asked dryly.
    “No.”
    “I didn’t think so. You’re tougher than your mama was, aren’t you?”
    “I had to be. I took care of her at the end.”
    “What did you tell Whip?” Caleb asked again.
    “The other half of the truth. That I don’t want to be obliged to anyone, no matter how kind they are, for my bread and salt. I want to be free.”
    “But you’re a—”
    “Woman,” Shannon finished curtly. “Yes. I had noticed that very thing.”
    “So does every other man who sees you walk by,” Caleb retorted.
    “Caleb!” Willow said in exasperation. “Honestly!”
    “Well, honey, it’s the truth, and all the talking about freedom and such won’t change the way Shannon walks.”
    “I don’t do it on purpose,” Shannon said tightly.
    “Hell’s fire, I know that,” Caleb said. “You’re no more a flirt or a tease than Willow is. That’s not the point. The point is that males are going to notice you’re female. The decent ones will strike up a conversation and come calling with candy in one hand, flowers in the other, and a gleam in their eye. If you aren’t interested, they’ll ride off and not come back. But not all men are decent.”
    “I know that better than most women,” Shannon said.
    “But you’re still insisting on going back?” Caleb asked.
    “Yes. I’ll leave tomorrow.”
    “Aren’t you going to wait for Whip to go with you?” Willow asked, surprised.
    “What makes you think he’s coming back?” Shannon asked.
    “Did he say good-bye to you?” Willow countered.
    “No.”
    “Then he’ll be back.”
    Shannon only shook her head, remembering the anger and anguish in Whip when he rode away.
    “Rafael