Operation Date Escape

started on the date thing again.
    “ Honey, I’ll admit I haven’t always picked the best men for you in the past...”
    “You think?” she muttered with a frown. She loved her mother but the woman was like Cupid from Hell when it came to making matches.
    “ Give me one more chance,” she pleaded.
    “Mom−”
    “Please say you’ll do this for me.”
    “ My schedule’s pretty full right now,” she lied out of sheer desperation.
    But her mother wasn’t letting it go. “I swear it’ll be the last time I ever set you up with a blind date. If you’ll just do me this one l ast favor and go out with Max.”
    “Max?”
    “He’s tall, dark and handsome,” her mother said, working hard to sell her on him. “He has a good job. Killer eyes. And best of all he has great teeth.”
    No man was that perfect. Well, except one. Her mother had a tendency to exaggerate when it came to describing the men she wanted to set her up with. This was clearly one of those exaggerations.
    “I think you should take her up on her offer,” Nanci said between bites. “Think about it, Kels. No more blind dates. All you have to do is go out this one last time.
    She looked to her mother. “This is the last one. You promise?”
    “Yes.”
    The thought of never having to suffer through another one of her mother’s fix-ups again was enough to risk agreeing to go out on one more guaranteed bad date. And seeing as how she’d recently finished writing her bad date survival guide there was no need to suffer through any more blind dates just for research purposes.
    “All right, I’ll do it.” One last date.
    “Oh, thank you, honey. I knew I could count on you. He need s a date for his company picnic next weekend and I told him you’d go with him.”
    Why didn’t it surprise her that her mother had already given the go ahead before asking? She took another drink of wine. “What’s his number?”
    Her mother paused mid-bite. “His number?”
    “So I can call to finalize things.” Something told her that this was going to be another dud date. Why else would her mother be acting so strange?
    “I’m afraid Max is going to be out of town on business, so you won’t be able to call him, but I have the date, the time and the address you’re supposed to meet him at.” She stood and walked over to the counter where her purse sat. Reaching in, she pulled out a piece of paper and carried it back to the table, handing it to Kelsie. “Here you go.”
    Kelsie looked down at the scrap of paper in her hand. Her last blind date. Thank God. Then maybe she could live a normal life.
    “Nanci,” her mother said as she settled back into her seat, “I saw this neon yellow vibrator on Ebay last night. I think it was called the ‘Dancing Banana’.”
    Her friend’s eyes lit up. “I don’t have that one yet. When does it go off?”
    “Tomorrow.”
    Kelsie’s gaze shifted from her mother to her best friend. Okay, so maybe she wasn’t destined to ever live a quote unquote ‘normal’ life. Despite their quirks, she wouldn’t trade her mother or Nanci for all the normalness in the world.
    * * *
    The bell over the waiting room door rang, drawing Kelsie’s gaze to the glass window separating the waiting area from the office.
    “Mom?” she mouthed in surprise.
    Her mother waved as she walked up to the window.
    Kelsie slid the window open. “Hi. What’s up?”
    “I just finished showing a house in the area and thought I’d stop by and say hello.”
    Her mother never just stopped by to say hello. “Why are you really here?”
    “Well,” she said, looking guilty, “I wanted to make sure you hadn’t forgotten about your date with Max.”
    How could she forget? Her mother brought it up every time they spoke. “I haven’t.”
    The bell rang again and Kelsie looked past her mother to see that her next patient had arrived. “I have to get back to work.”
    “Okay , honey. I’ll talk to you later.”
    She slid the window shut with a sigh.
    “Max, huh?” Heather repeated with a grin as she stepped over to the filing cabinet and pulled open the top drawer.
    “No comment or I’ll ask my mo ther to fix you up with a guy, too.”
    “O oh, shudder at the thought,” the younger girl replied with a feigned shiver.
    Dr. Andy stepped into the office with Nanci trailing right behind him. “ Is my patient here?”
    “No,” Kelsie replied. “Just mine.”
    “I thought I heard the bell a few times.”
    “You did. It was my