Pictures of Lily

call.’
    ‘Fingers crossed, then,’ I say as Richard and Josh return with a variety of multi-coloured drinks.
    ‘I can’t remember which is which,’ Josh says, plonking the drinks on the table.
    ‘Well, I ordered an Orgasm,’ Nicola says flirtatiously. ‘And I want to have at least one of those tonight so you’d better deliver one way or another.’
    I stifle an outraged cry as Josh grins down at her before slumping into a chair. Mel and I gawp at each other, then at Nicola, but she pretends not to notice.
    ‘How was your flight?’ Mel asks Josh. I look across at Richard, still reeling from the shock of Nicola’s brazenness, but he shrugs and grins.
    A few cocktails in and I’ve lightened up considerably.
    ‘Where are we going from here?’ Josh asks. He’s been basking in the glow of Nicola’s attention for the last two hours.
    ‘A Mexican restaurant I know. It’s got a good party atmosphere,’ I say.
    ‘Sounds great.’
    ‘And then we’ll hit a club if you haven’t collapsed by then.’
    ‘Collapsed?’ Josh sniggers. ‘Don’t you remember, I’m a hardcore party animal.’
    ‘That was years ago. You’re an old man now.’
    ‘Twenty-eight? Old? Please!’
    Twenty-eight. Twenty-eight. That age again.
    Clear as day I see Ben’s dark-blue eyes staring into mine on the night we bumped into each other in Hahndorf. That was when I knew he felt something for me.
    ‘She’s got that far-off look in her eyes again.’
    I come back to the present with a bump to see everyone staring at me. Mel is grinning mischievously.
    ‘What are you thinking about?’ she prods.
    I shake my head, dumbly.
    ‘She’s been like this loads over the last couple of weeks, hasn’t she, Nicola?’
    ‘Yes,’ Nicola says, smiling.
    It’s true. I’ve been thinking about Ben a lot recently. Much more than I ever used to. I can’t get him out of my head, day or night. He’s there. Like a permanent resident.
    ‘She’s probably wedding planning,’ Richard chips in.
    ‘Wedding? Whose wedding?’ Nicola shrieks.
    ‘Haven’t you . . .’ Richard’s question trails off as he gives me a querying look. I shake my head briskly, but it’s too late.
    ‘You’re NOT!’ Nicola cries.
    I shrug, embarrassed.
    ‘ She is ! When? When did he ask you?’
    I glance at Richard, who is staring at me with a strange expression on his face. ‘Two weeks ago.’
    ‘And you kept it from us?’ Nicola all but hollers. ‘Why? Why would you do such a thing?’
    ‘Yes, Lily, why?’ Richard asks as quietly as the loud music will allow.
    I give him a hopeless look. ‘I didn’t want to take anything away from Nathan and Lucy.’
    ‘Who the hell are Nathan and Lucy?’ Mel chips in, very unhelpfully I might add.
    ‘They don’t even know Nathan and Lucy,’ Richard says, and I shrug again. Even Nicola, who is halfway down the tipsy hill to drunk, starts to register the uncomfortable atmosphere.
    ‘I’m starving!’ Josh exclaims. ‘Can we get out of here, or what?’
    ‘I didn’t want them to make a big fuss,’ I tell Richard later as we lag behind the others on our way out of the restaurant. He’s been avoiding my gaze throughout the entire meal and I need to say something now because I’ve been feeling a bit sick for the past two hours. ‘I’m still getting used to the idea myself,’ I continue to explain when he doesn’t comment. ‘Richard, please say something.’
    ‘It’s fine.’
    ‘You don’t sound fine.’
    ‘I’m a little concerned,’ he admits, glancing at me with his warm brown eyes and it does nothing to expel the bad feeling in my stomach. ‘You’ve been acting strangely ever since I . . . I just don’t know if there’s something else going on. You’re always off out with your camera, and I guess you seem different somehow.’
    ‘I don’t know what you mean. Yes, I’ve been taking photos,’ I say crossly, ‘but how could you possibly have a problem with that? It makes me happy.’
    ‘It never made you happy before.’
    ‘It did! I used to love using my camera.’
    ‘Why did you stop then?’
    I can’t find the words to answer.
    ‘It seems to have come out of nowhere,’ he explains. ‘I feel like I don’t know you.’
    ‘I’m sorry if it makes you feel threatened,’ I say coldly.
    ‘It’s not tha—’
    ‘But I’m not going to stop.’ I cruelly cut him off, even though I heard the softening in his voice.
    ‘Suit yourself,’ he says unhappily, as he stalks off down the