Primal Heat 05 - Darkness Reborn

sense that Ian was closer to the edge than he'd ever been before, even when they'd had to chain him up for three months to protect him and the rest of them.
    At Ian's desperation and his stark suffering, Gideon felt a rush of hope that Ian was somehow correct that his sheva was alive. He wanted Ian to have that chance to be with her, to feel the surge of life that came from bonding with his soul mate. He looked at Lily, who was frowning. "Is there a chance she came back to life?" he asked her. "Is there a way to come back from being truly dead?"
    Lily rubbed her forehead, wearily. "I don't know. I've never run across it, but that doesn't mean it can't happen."
    What the fuck are you thinking? Quinn's voice pushed into Gideon's mind. It sucks that Ian lost his sheva , but you really think it would be better if she were still alive?
    Gideon eyed his teammate. You would rather exist without your sheva ? You think your life would be better without Grace?
    No way. Quinn narrowed his eyes and paced restlessly, his body coiled with visible tension at the mere idea of it. But every minute of every day, I think about the fact that our destiny commands that once a warrior completes his bond with his mate, he is destined to lose her, go rogue and destroy everything that matters to both of them. I look at the woman who means more to me than my own life, and I wonder when that time bomb will go off and I'll lose her. Sometimes I can't even think straight because I'm quivering in bloody terror waiting to lose Grace. If Ian escaped that hell and dodged the bullet by having his sheva die before he could get attached to her and go rogue, then fuck yeah, I think he's better off.
    Shit . Gideon had thought he was the only one who had those nightmares. He swore and looked at Lily, who was talking intently with Ian, grilling him with questions. We beat our fate, Quinn. We're all still alive, and we need to remember that. We won.
    For now. Quinn closed his eyes, and Gideon felt the well of raw emotion coming from him. Fear, at the very deepest level of his core. We knocked destiny on her ass, but we didn't defeat her. He opened his eyes. You, me, and Elijah are the first warriors in two thousand years not to be destroyed by the sheva bond. You really think we're so special? Fate's going to come for us, Gideon, and as God is my witness, as much as I love my woman and would go through hell a thousand times for every minute I have with her, never on this earth would I want Ian to have to find his woman and lose her again, because I know it will fucking break me if and when it happens.
    "Not me." Elijah slowly rose to his feet, his voice commanding the attention of the room. Since he was blood-bonded with Gideon and Quinn, he could hear their conversations unless they were actively blocking him, which they hadn't bothered to do. "I've been through hell and back, more than a thousand times, and it all goes away when I'm with Ana. I don't give a shit what happens in the future, but I'm willing to risk my own soul and every last piece of my heart for another minute with her." He nodded at Ian. "Find your woman, Ian. Find her, and give her everything you have. It's worth every fucking minute of it."
    Ian nodded. "I know."
    Elijah sheathed his weapons. "I'm going off guard duty. I need to find Ana." He met their gaze. "I can't do this without her." Then he turned and strode out of the room, not even bothering to look back.
    For a moment, no one spoke. What was there to say? Gideon agreed with both Quinn and Elijah, and right now, he couldn't even begin to imagine a single second without Lily. Was it better for Ian to never find his woman, or to find her, give his soul to her, and then lose her?
    Ian was the one who broke the silence. "Alice is my one chance to survive," he said, his voice hard.
    "Alice?" Gideon exchanged glances with Quinn. "I thought her name was Catherine Taylor—" He cut himself off when he saw the look of agony on Ian's face. "Or Alice is fine." What the hell was going on? Ian's sheva , the woman who had died was Catherine Taylor. Since when did Ian's sheva become a woman named Alice? Ian's dark expression made it clear that now was not the time for questions.
    "Fuck destiny and what it wants to do to us if we complete our bond," Ian bit out. "That doesn't matter right now. All that matters is that I find Alice."
    Quinn looked at him grimly. "But fate's plan for you will matter—"
    Ian met his gaze. "If I don't get through