Public Secrets

question. I don’t know what to say. He, ah, Luke’s very attractive.”
A trace of amusement lit Johnno’s eyes. “Yes, I think so.”
Her blush deepened, but she managed to look at him again. “You’re making fun of me now.”
“No, luv.” His voice was soft. “Never you.”
She studied him, carefully, trying to see if he looked different somehow—if she could find something odd or wrong with the face she knew so well. There was nothing, only Johnno. Her lips curved a little. “Well, I guess my plans do have to change.”
He felt the twist—harder, sharper than the fists of the boys from his youth. “I’m sorry, Emma.”
“Not half as sorry as I am,” she told him. “I have to give up my fantasy about seducing you.” For the first time in her life she saw his face go totally blank.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Well, I always thought, when I grew up, when you saw me as a woman.” She stood up, spreading her arms out, then down her sides. “I’d come to visit you here, fix you a meal by candlelight, put on the music, then seduce you.” She pulled a chain from under her blouse. On it hung a little plastic ring with a gaudy red stone. “I always thought you’d be my first.”
Speechless, he stared at the ring, then looked up and into her eyes. There was love there, the kind that lasted lifetimes. And there was understanding without blame. Stepping forward, he took her hands. His voice was thick when he found it. “Very rarely have I regretted being gay.” He brought her hands to his lips to kiss them. “This is one of those very rare times.”
“I love you, Johnno.”
He held her against him. “I love you, Emma. God knows why, since you’re such an ugly bitch.” When she laughed, he drew her back for a kiss. “Come on then, not only is Luke good to look at, but he’s a hell of a cook.”

E MMA AWOKE EARLY and followed the scent of coffee and the muted sounds of the television to the kitchen. It wasn’t jet lag she felt now, but the restless disorientation of waking up in a strange bed after only snatches of sleep. There was an awkward moment as she stood in the kitchen doorway watching Luke butter toast across from the television set where David Hartman interviewed Harrison Ford.
She’d almost been able to relax around Luke the night before as they’d all eaten soup and hot sandwiches in the kitchen.
He was well mannered, witty, intelligent, and mouthwateringly attractive. And gay. So was Johnno, Emma reminded herself and tried a smile.
“Good morning.”
Luke turned. He looked different this morning with his hair styled, his face shaven. He wore gray pleated slacks and a trim blue shirt set off with a thin tie of a darker shade. He looked alert and hiply professional. The upwardly mobile young executive, she thought, and such a complete contrast to Johnno.
“Hi. Didn’t think you’d surface till this afternoon. Coffee?”
“Thanks. I couldn’t sleep. Marianne and I are going apartment hunting this afternoon. And I guess I’m worried about how my father reacted when Johnno called him.”
“Johnno’s very persuasive.” He slid the coffee in front of her. “Why don’t I put you out of your misery? Toast?”
“No.” She pressed a hand to her stomach. “Do you know what happened?”
“They argued, a lot.” Luke checked his watch, then sat beside her. “Johnno called him a few names I’m not sure he’d like me to repeat to you.”
She dropped her head into her cupped hands. “Terrific.”
“He also vowed, and I think a blood oath was mentioned, to keep an eye on you.”
“Bless him.”
“In the end, and it was a long time coming, Brian agreed to your attending college here, but—” he added before Emma could leap up and dance. “You have to keep the guards.”
“Dammit, I will not have those two hulking bastards dogging my every move. I might as well be back in Saint Catherine’s. When is he going to realize that there isn’t a kidnapper behind every bush? People don’t even know who I am, and they don’t care.”
“He cares.” He put a hand over hers. “Emma, sometimes we have to take what we can get. I know.”

“I only want to live a normal life,” she began.
“Most of us want that.” He smiled again when she looked up and flushed. “Look, we both care about Johnno, so I figure that makes us friends. Right?”
“All right.”
“Then this is my first friendly advice. Think of it this way. You want to be in New York, right?”
“Yes.”
“You