Redshirts

not like he’s actually famous .”
    “You should see him at Comic-Con,” Dahl said.
    Mitch snorted. “He better enjoy that, then, because he’s banned here,” he said. “When your friend is coherent tell him that if he shows up again, he’ll achieve warp speed thanks to my foot in his ass.”
    “I’ll use those words exactly,” Dahl said.
    “Do that,” Mitch said, and turned back to his duties.
    Dahl walked over to Duvall. “What’s the problem?” he asked.
    “He’s drunk and has no bones,” Duvall said, struggling with Corey. “And he’s woken up enough to argue with us.”
    “You can’t handle a boneless drunk?” Dahl asked.
    “Of course I can,” Duvall said. “But you said you didn’t want us to get arrested.”
    “A little help here would be nice,” Kerensky said, as Corey’s drunken hand stabbed a finger up his nose.
    Dahl nodded, opened the door to the black car and pulled the front seat forward. Duvall and Kerensky got a better grip on Corey, steadied him and then hurled him into the backseat. Corey jammed in, head into the far corner of the backseat, ass in the air. He whimpered for a second and then made a flabby exhaling sound. He was out again.
    “I’m not sitting with him,” Kerensky said.
    “No you’re not,” Dahl agreed, reached into the car and pulled Corey’s wallet out of his pants. He held it out to Kerensky. “You’re driving.”
    “Why am I driving?” Kerensky asked.
    “Because then if we get pulled over, you’re him,” Dahl said.
    “Right,” Kerensky said, taking the wallet.
    “I’ll pay the valet,” Duvall said.
    “Tip well,” Dahl said.
    A minute later Kerensky figured out what “D” meant on the shift column and the four of them were driving up Vine.
    “Keep to the speed limit,” Dahl said.
    “I have no idea where I’m going,” Kerensky said.
    “You’re an astrogator,” Duvall said.
    “This is a road, ” Kerensky said.
    “Hold on,” Duvall said, and pulled out her phone. “This thing’s got a map function. Let me get it working.” Kerensky grunted and kept driving.
    “Well, we had a fun evening,” Duvall said to Dahl, as she entered the address of the Best Western into her phone. “What did you do?”
    “I saw an old friend,” Dahl said, and showed Duvall the picture of him and Nick.
    “Oh,” Duvall said, taking the phone. She reached into the backseat and grabbed his hand. “Oh, Andy. You okay?”
    “I’m okay,” he said.
    “He looks just like him,” Duvall said, looking at the picture again.
    “He would,” Dahl said, and looked out the window.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
    “He’s slept long enough,” Dahl said, nodding to Marc Corey’s unconscious form on the bed. “Wake him up.”
    “That would mean touching him,” Duvall said.
    “Not necessarily,” Hester said. He reached over and took one of the pillows Corey wasn’t using, and then hit him on the head with it. Corey woke up with a start.
    “Nicely done,” Hanson said, to Hester. He nodded in acknowledgment.
    Corey sat up and looked around, disoriented. “Where am I?” he asked, to no one in particular.
    “In a hotel,” Dahl said. “The Best Western in Burbank.”
    “Why am I here?” Corey said.
    “You passed out at the Vine Club after you attacked a friend of mine,” Dahl said. “We got you in your car and drove you here.”
    Corey looked down and furrowed his brow. “Where are my pants ?” he said.
    “We took them from you,” Dahl said.
    “Why?” Corey said.
    “Because we need to talk to you,” Dahl said.
    “You could do that without taking my pants,” Corey said.
    “In a perfect world, yes,” Dahl said.
    Corey peered at Dahl, groggily. “I know you,” he said after a minute. “You’re an extra on my show.” He looked at Duvall and Hanson. “So are you two.” His gaze turned to Hester. “You I’ve never seen before.”
    Hester looked slightly exasperated at this. “We had a scene together,” he said to Corey. “You were attacked by swarm bots.”
    “Dude, I have a lot of scenes with extras,” Corey said. “That’s why they’re called ‘extras.’” He turned his attention back to Dahl. “And if any of you ever want to work on the show again, you will give me my pants and my car keys, right now.”
    “Your pants are in the restroom,” Hanson said. “Drying.”
    “You were so drunk you pissed yourself,” Hester said.
    “Besides taking your pants for discussion purposes, we figured you might not want to go