Redshirts

to toss myself backward like there was an actual explosion. And around take seven I thought to myself, ‘I’m thirty years old and what I’m doing with my life is pretending to die on a TV show that I wouldn’t watch if I wasn’t on it.’ At a certain point you have to ask yourself why you do it. I mean, why do you do it?”
    “Me?” Dahl asked.
    “Yeah,” Nick said.
    “I do it because for a long time I didn’t know I had a choice,” Dahl said.
    “That’s just it, though,” Nick said. “You do. You still on the show?”
    “For now,” Dahl said.
    “But they’re going to kill you off too,” Nick said.
    “In a couple of episodes,” Dahl said. “Unless I can avoid it.”
    “Don’t avoid it,” Nick said. “Die and then figure out the rest of your life.”
    Dahl smiled. “It’s not as simple as that for some of us,” he said, and took a drink.
    “Mortgage, huh,” Nick said.
    “Something like that,” Dahl said.
    “C’est la vie,” Nick said. “So what brings you down to Hollywood and Vine? I think you told me you were in Toluca Lake.”
    “I had some friends who wanted to go to the Vine Club,” Dahl said.
    “They didn’t let you in?” Nick asked. Dahl shrugged. “You should have let me know. My friend’s the bouncer there.”
    “Mitch,” Dahl said.
    “That’s him,” Nick said.
    “He’s the one who told me to come down here,” Dahl said.
    “Ouch,” Nick said. “Sorry.”
    “I’m not,” Dahl said. “It’s really good to see you again.”
    Nick grinned and then went to tend to other customers.
    Dahl’s phone vibrated. He fished it out of his pocket and answered it.
    “Where are you?” Duvall asked.
    “I’m at a pub down the street,” Dahl said. “Having a very weird time. Why?”
    “You need to come back down here. We just got kicked out of the club,” Duvall said.
    “You and Kerensky?” Dahl asked. “How did that happen?”
    “Not just me and Kerensky,” Duvall said. “Marc Corey too. He attacked Kerensky.”
    “What?” Dahl said.
    “We walked up to Corey in his booth, he saw Kerensky and said, ‘So you’re the fucker whose picture is on Gawker,’ and lunged at him,” Duvall said.
    “What the hell is a Gawker?” Dahl asked.
    “Don’t ask me, it’s not my century,” Duvall said. “We all got thrown out and now Corey’s passed out on the sidewalk. He was already drunk off his ass when we got there.”
    “Scrape him off the sidewalk and fish through his pockets for his valet ticket,” Dahl said. “Get all of you in his car and then wait for me. I’ll be there in just a couple of minutes. Try not to get yourselves arrested.”
    “I promise nothing,” Duvall said, and hung up.
    “Problem?” Nick asked. He had come back up while Dahl was on the phone.
    “My friends got into a fight at the Vine Club and got kicked out,” Dahl said. “I need to go get them before the police arrive.”
    “You’re having an interesting night,” Nick said.
    “You have no idea,” Dahl said. “What do I owe you for the beer?”
    Nick waved him off. “On the house,” he said. “Your one good thing for the evening.”
    “Thank you,” Dahl said, and then paused, looking at his phone and then looking up at Nick. “Would you mind if I took a picture of the two of us?”
    “Now you’re getting weird,” Nick said, but smiled and leaned in. Dahl held the phone out and took the picture.
    “Thanks,” Dahl said again.
    “No problem,” Nick said. “Now you better go before your friends are hauled away.”
    Dahl hurried out.
    Two minutes later he was outside the Vine Club, watching Duvall and Kerensky wrestling with Marc Corey by a black, sleek automobile, while Mitch and a valet looked on. The pretty, posed people had their phones out, taking video of it all.
    “Man, what the hell is this?” Mitch asked as Dahl walked up. “Your pals are in there not ten minutes and this chump tries to wreck the place getting at them.”
    “Sorry about that,” Dahl said.
    “And this clone action is just freaky,” Mitch said.
    “My friends were in there to get Marc,” Dahl lied, and pointed at Kerensky. “That’s his public double. They use him for publicity sometimes. We heard he was getting a little rowdy and came to get him because he’s got to be on set tomorrow.”
    “He wasn’t rowdy until your friends showed up,” Mitch said. “And what does that dude need a double for? He’s a supporting actor on a basic cable science fiction show. It’s