Running Wild

preferred shifting at night, and he didn’t like to stay human long, but he found himself saying, “Okay.” Then added, “I apologize.”
Seamus jerked himself up to standing, still angry, and Ri backed up. Then Seamus stopped moving, and his voice softened. “I’m going to turn on the light, alright? I can barely see you.”
“Okay.” Ri hated when Seamus turned on the light, preferred shadows where he wasn’t properly seen or recognized by humans. That was all too late anyway. After two visits, it wasn’t like his face could be scrubbed from Seamus’s memory.
As they blinked at each other in the sudden light, Seamus ran a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. His arm was thick, almost bulky, and quite a different shape than Ri’s, and for a moment, the play of skin over muscle mesmerized Ri. He brought his gaze to meet Seamus’s, to find those gray eyes amused.
That was a relief, better than pissed off.
Seamus’s mouth quirked. “We have to stop meeting like this.”
Crossing his arms, Ri puzzled over the meaning of it and gave up. “We do?”
That charming quirk disappeared. Seamus rubbed his neck. “What I mean is, you need to stop arriving like this.”
Ri’s heart sank. He supposed he’d held out more hope for Seamus than he’d acknowledged to himself. He’d always told himself and his grandfather that the idea of befriending Seamus was a dream. That he couldn’t declare himself to a human. But he’d been toying with some kind of friendship here, and Seamus didn’t want that.
Seamus sighed. “Alright. I don’t know what is going on with you, but I am making coffee. Want some?”
“Before I go?”
Seamus set his hands on his hips and looked up at Ri through his eyelashes. Ri couldn’t interpret that look, but it made his heart beat faster.
“I was hoping to come back,” he blurted out. There was a clutch in his voice, he heard it, and the loneliness that he kept so well contained was suddenly straining to get out. He held still, his own words having startled him.
“You were, eh?” Seamus eyed him, like a specimen perhaps.
Ri didn’t know what to make of it, but he nodded.
“Why?”
He might not be the most socially adept person who ever walked the earth, but even Ri knew this answer was make or break, and he didn’t know what to say.
“Something is going on with you,” Seamus said quietly. “Isn’t there?”
Ri froze. It was that or bolt.
“Is someone after you, Ri?”
It was painful, but he just couldn’t speak. If he started saying anything, his whole story would come tumbling out, and either Seamus would think he was crazy or Seamus would have something to hold over him when Ri wasn’t ready to cede that power to him.
At his non-response, Seamus scratched his cheek. “Listen. Two things. Don’t bring your trouble to me. And knock on the bloody door instead of walking through walls. Okay?”
Ri nodded.
“You can speak, you know.”
“I know.” Ri attempted a smile, but it didn’t quite work.
“Oh, one more thing. I’m gay. If you have a problem with that, you should leave.”
A shortness of breath assailed Ri, though Seamus had already given his horse this information. This is not a come-on , Ri chided himself. Not that he’d know what to do with a come-on.
“Ri.” It was a warning. Seamus thought Ri was reacting badly to his being gay. Words were needed.
“No problem,” Ri managed, abruptly understanding why Grandfather had pushed so hard for this friendship. Well-meaning but naïve. As if being gay was all Ri needed to trust someone.
Seamus’s gaze was steady on his, but not unkind. His next words proved him to be more observant than Ri had thought.
“Ah. You’re not out, are you?”
Ri looked down and away. All he could think was, If you only knew .
    Seamus poured the boiling water into Zachariah’s old, cracked mugs. Instant coffee, but he didn’t care. He supposed if he was staying, he’d buy new dishes and a coffee maker.
    He gave a brief shake of his head. Why did he consider the option of keeping this place? It was a disaster—with an unwanted, repeat intruder. Closeted to boot. Or maybe that was just being tongue-tied. Seamus’s struggles with the closet in his teen years had made him overly sensitive to the idea of someone not being out.
    In truth, Seamus was fascinated if baffled by Ri and his actions. Yes, the man might be playing some kind of deep game Seamus couldn’t fathom, complete with acting wary, nervous and strangely innocent.