Savage Tales

said Dad. "The boy's only just arrived. Been cooped up in spaceships and doesn't know local ways. He can't be blamed."
    Natalie's head sparked up. "Hey!" she said. "Who's playing footsie?"
    I looked under the table and saw Skooter's foot on my sister's. I elbowed him and he pulled it away.
    "Oops," said Skooter. "I almost can't help myself."
    Looking in his direction, I noticed Skooter's hand below the table cloth and squeezing my mom's leg. I thought this peculiar. Mom didn't seem to mind, and I was sure she'd noticed. You can't just miss something like that.
    "Ha ha ha!" Dad guffawed. "Skooter, you are a live one! Pretty soon you'll be married to little Natalie. I think it's only a matter of time. And then what will we do with you? Huh? Ha ha ha!"
    "Marry him?" said Natalie. "An alien? Eww, gross!"
    Dad stopped laughing. "You watch your mouth, young lady."
    Natalie arose and ran upstairs.
    "Roy, you've embarrassed her," said Mom.
    "She has thin skin," said Dad. "She'll get used to it once she hits the pubes."
    "You don't need to fear that I'll marry your daughter," said Skooter. "I will never be trapped by marriage."
    "That's the spirit, Skooter," said Dad. "Would you like a beer?"
    "Roy, he's too young," said Mom.
    "I am 48 Earth years," said Skooter. "I will take a beer."
    "Good man," said Dad.
    "What about me, Dad?" I said. I would turn fifteen in a month.
    "No, Jake," said Dad.
    Dad and Skooter knocked back a couple beers and told jokes. I ate quietly.
    "Do you want some dessert?" Mom asked me. "I made purple Jell-O – your favorite."
    "I'll be upstairs," I said. "I'm full."
    I went to the bedroom I shared with Natalie and found her crying. I put my hand on her shoulder to comfort her, but she shrugged it off. She was too young to appreciate such token gestures.
    "It's like having a monster in our house," said Natalie. "And Mom and Dad love him!"
    We heard laughter from downstairs.
    "It's okay," I said. "He won't be here forever."
    At least, I hoped he wouldn't. I would have to act decisively. I did not want that alien impregnating my mother or molesting my sister. Our television and internet already has enough of their alien filth piped through. I didn't care if Dad disapproved of my actions. I was following a higher authority. Dad was only following the UN's orders or some garbage spewed by politicians in the interest of preventing war.
    Natalie and I turned in early, but after a while a form came plodding up the stairs and turned on the light. It was Skooter, thoroughly drunk. He was scratching around and making all kinds of noise.
    "What are you doing?" I said.
    "Your dad said to sleep up here," said Skooter. "Said you had a bed for me. It's okay if you don't. I'll just sleep with Natalie."
    "No," I said. "There's a futon we prepared in the corner. Use that."
    "Oh, fine," said Skooter. He ambled in a bumble bee course and fell onto the futon, started snoring. He hadn't bothered to turn off the light so I had to do it for him. Before I did, I went to stand over him and look at him.
    "Damned alien," I said, and spit on Skooter. He continued snoring.
    The dark concrescence of night came upon us and I stayed awake to let time sober the alien, and to make a plan in my head.
    Around two I got up and woke Skooter, shaking him from the stupor depths.
    "Huh?" he mumbled, cheap beer lingering on his tongue. "What is? Where am I?"
    "It's me, Skooter," I said. "Jake, remember? You're on Earth."
    "Of course, yes. Why you wake me?"
    "Come on, Skooter. I want to show you something. Outside. Come on."
    "Show me in morning please. Sleep now."
    "This can't wait till morning," I said. "Really, Skooter, this is important."
    After more shaking and prompting from me, I finally got him to come along.
    "Hold the hand rail," I said, leading him down the stairs. I didn't want him to fall and hurt himself. That would be noisy.
    The kitchen was still. We crept through to the back door and I cracked it open. The bite of night air shot in.
    "We go out there?" said Skooter. "It is cold."
    "We'll be fine," I said, and pushed him out. We walked back toward the old woods, past my garden. I picked up my shovel as we walked.
    "There's something amazing back here," I said. "You won't believe it."
    When we got to the giant oak tree, I lined him up.
    "Look there," I said. "At the tree. Look closely."
    He looked as well as he might in the dark of night. He scrutinized the tree like it was a real test, like there was actually something to