Savage Tales

moon, but I let it go.
    "Let me get in there a while," I said, eager to try the maximum setting and see if the machine was broken, to see if the game was rigged.
    Skooter stepped out and I went in with a tight grip on my bat, eager to defend the American pastime and not have it trampled on by a foreigner. The machine snapped and the first ball shot out. I swung. My bat tasted only air.
    "Damn," I said. "I'm a bit rusty."
    Another ball shot off. I swung again and missed.
    "You want me to lower the speed for you?" said Skooter.
    "You do what you want," I said. "I'll be all right. Sometimes I let balls go by so I don't hurt anyone's feelings."
    He said nothing to this, but I noticed I finally started hitting balls, and assumed he had lowered the speed. With some of my confidence restored, I felt my conscience start to flare up – or perhaps it was the voice of my father who I knew would disapprove of trying to get the one-up on Skooter.
    "He's our honored guest," Dad would say. "You couldn't let him have a bit of glory? He only just arrived on Earth, after all."
    I lowered my bat. "Hey, Skooter, you can go at it for a while?" I said.
    I looked back, but he wasn't there. "Skooter?"
    I left the cage and looked around. He didn't seem to be in any of the cages. Perhaps he had gone into the arcade. I went inside to check. I didn't see him, but they had Bacteria Attack 3 , which had just been released, and no line or anything, so I couldn't really resist. I put some change in and time just melted away.
    My conscience returned (only when I had run out of money) and I went seeking Skooter again. I found him near the restrooms.
    "Oh, there you are," I said. "Where you been?"
    "I relieved myself," said Skooter.
    "Thank you for sharing," I said.
    "Would you like some, Jake? She's still in there."
    I blinked. "Wait – what?"
    "I clubbed her. She'll be out a while yet. You'll get no fight out of her. I hope that's not a problem."
    I slowly digested his words and saw a woman leading a security guard toward the women's restroom.
    "I think we'd better get going," I said.
    "Suit yourself," said Skooter. "But it looks like that male may take the spoils of my labor."
    "Forget about it," I said. "Come on."
    It was getting dark. Skooter and I were hungry from our exercise and exertions. Pushing open the back door through the kitchen, we found Mom cooking. She tried to act natural.
    "Hello, boys, how was your day?" said Mom.
    "Just swell," I said.
    "Hello, Mom," said Skooter.
    "Skooter, you don't have any food preferences or allergies, do you?"
    "What is that?" said Skooter. "I don't think so."
    "You eat meat then?" said Mom. "I thought you might consider it barbaric or something."
    "Meat?" said Skooter. "Yes, I have eaten many."
    "Good, we're having fried chicken," said Mom.
    "That sounds perfect, Mom," said Skooter.
    "We'll go wash up," I said. "And get Natalie."
    We found Natalie upstairs doing homework. She saw Skooter and left the room, giving him a dirty look as she left.
    "I do not think your sister likes me," said Skooter.
    "Who cares?" I said.
    "I had hoped to mount her," said Skooter.
    "Geez, is that all you think about?" I said. "Get off it."
    "It is my way, Jake. Forgive me."
    We all gathered for dinner. Dad had returned from his office and sat at the head of the table. Mom was next to him, then Skooter, me, and then Natalie.
    "Dig in," said Mom.
    Skooter reached for a chicken leg and bit into it. He tried to bite into the bone itself.
    "It is tough," said Skooter.
    "You don't eat the bone," I whispered.
    "Nonsense, I eat everything," said Skooter. "Please don't question my manhood, Jake."
    He took a crunchy bite into bone and we left it at that.
    "And what did you boys get up to today?" said Dad. "Is Skooter adjusting well?"
    "We had loads of fun this afternoon," said Skooter. "Jake took me to a sports place and I clubbed –"
    "He hit a lot of balls," I interrupted. "Skooter is very good at... baseball."
    "That so?" said Dad. "Glad to hear it. Maybe he can join a team while he's here."
    "We have hunting teams back on Europa," said Skooter. "We always shared our catches. I tried to share with Jake today. He was not interested."
    "What's this?" said Dad. "Were you rude to Skooter, Jake?"
    I tried to speak. "I –"
    "Skooter kissed me on the lips!" said Natalie.
    "What? When?" said Mom.
    "Today!" said Natalie.
    "This is true," said Skooter.
    "I think there was miscommunication," I said.
    "Well, I think we can understand that,"