Scam

you are. You tell me the police can’t pin down the time of death, so no one’s sure who was killed first. But both those times—they were after your client was killed. So we could assume by then all three were dead. So either of those times—at the talent agent’s office or at the talent agent’s house—could the guy have planted the gun?”
    I took a breath. Blew it out loudly. “I’m not sure.”
    “There you are,” Alice said. “Not five minutes from your answer of an automatic no.
    “Okay, fine,” I said. “I grant the possibility. But it’s like if an elephant had fins would he be a fish?”
    Alice stared at me. “What?”
    “I know the cop’s framing me. So to say, if the cop wasn’t framing me does the theory make sense?—well, maybe so, but so what?”
    “That I got,” Alice said. “I just never heard the expression about the elephant and the fish.”
    “I may have just made it up.”
    “You may have?”
    “Alice, I’m stressed out. I don’t know where that came from. The point is, valid as that thought might be, it doesn’t help me. Frankly, right now it’s more input than I can handle.”
    “I know. Go play Nintendo.”
    “Huh?”
    “Hey. Don’t pretend. I know you wanna go play Nintendo with Tommie. Go on. Do you some good.”
    I’ll say that for Alice, she was pretty understanding. On the other hand, it occurred to me, she was awfully unconcerned about her husband being on the hook for three homicides. She had explained it away in almost the same terms as MacAullif—I was innocent, there was nothing to it, the whole thing was absurd and would eventually go away.
    I knew in voicing that opinion Alice was being a brick. She knew my own state of mental health was precarious, and was taking the pressure off in letting me know I didn’t have to worry about her. That was kind, considerate, and thoughtful.
    Still, it occurred to me she might have appeared just the least bit concerned.
    Anyway, I happily escaped to the living room, where Tommie was playing Zelda: Link’s Awakening on Super NES. That was something in itself. Link’s Awakening was a Game Boy game. But Nintendo’s latest wrinkle, the Super Game Boy adaptor, allowed you to play Game Boy games on your Super NES system.
    I couldn’t have been happier. The Zelda games were my favorite, and I could now play this one, which had been too small for my ancient eyes on the tiny Game Boy screen.
    I went into the living room to help Tommie, who was coping with Level Five.
    And also with a moral and ethical dilemma.
    One of the items Link uses is a bow. It’s an important item, because there are certain enemies that you can’t beat without it. In the original Zelda game, you find the bow in one of the levels. In this game, you have to buy it. And it cost 980 rupies.
    Believe me, that’s a lot. Even if you’re close to it by the time you get to Level Five, you’d hate to blow all the loot you spent the whole game saving up just on one item.
    Which is where the moral and ethical dilemma comes in. In addition to making games, Nintendo publishes its own magazine, Nintendo Power , which gives you tips on how to play the games. Tommie of course subscribes. And one of the tips they give you is called “Grabbing Goods.” It tells you how to get around paying for the bow. You go into the shop that sells it, you take it, and instead of paying the shopkeeper for it, you run with it out the door. If you do that, you will have the bow. But for the rest of the game, all the people you meet will point at you and yell, “Thief!”
    But that’s not the moral and ethical dilemma. That’s just the beginning. If you don’t want people to point at your and yell “Thief!” but yous till don't want to pay for the bow, in another Nintendo Power magazine there’s another tip called “Free Bow.” The catch here is, to get the free bow, you must have the 980 rupies. Here’s how it works. You go into the shop, pick up the bow, go to the shopkeeper, and when he asks if you want to buy it, say, “Yes.” Before he can take the rupies from you, you push A, B, Start, Select, and save your game. When you return to the game, you will have the bow and the rupies too.
    And no one will yell at you.
    Tommie accepted this cheerfully, but it totally blew my mind. What are we teaching the young of today? Well, we’re teaching them if you don’t have any money, you can get stuff by stealing. But if you do, you’ll be despised as a thief. On