Sea Breeze 01 - Breathe

isn’t your fault.”
    He dropped his hold, pulled away from me, and leaned forward on his knees. “No, Sadie,
no
! This is all my fault. I am the world’s favorite teenage rock star. I live in the media. But to hear them”—he stopped and his jaw clenched—“to hear them talk about you that way . . . I need . . . I want to hurt someone.”
    I scooted up on my seat to get closer to him. “Jax, please, I should’ve known something like this would happen. Yes, it hurts, but I can live through this. I can live through anything as long as I have you.”
    He shook his head violently. “Don’t you see, Sadie? This is just the beginning. Your life will never be the same. I knew this when I first realized I wanted to be with you. My life isn’t made for relationships. Only girls in the spotlight can handle it, and I have never found one I wanted. Then came you. Sweet, gorgeous, selfless . . . everything I had never known. I was selfish to allow this to happen. I was selfish when I decided to charm you, and when it worked, I was selfish to want to hold on to you.”
    He took my hands in his. “I love you more than anyone or anything I’ve ever known. You’ve somehow become the song inside of me. It’s because I love you so much I’m going to walk out of your life and allow you to heal and find someone worthy of you. Someone who can take you to the movies and out to get a pizza and not have to worry about being mauled by fans or getting your picture taken and splashed all over the news. I want you to have more than I can give.”
    I glanced out the window and realized we were sitting outside my apartment again.
    “I’m not strong enough to do this, Sadie. If you love me, you will get out of the car and walk away.”
    My heart shattered, and I couldn’t take a deep breath. My eyes were blurry with unshed tears. But I didn’t move. I couldn’t.
    “I don’t want to walk away from you. I love you, but how can you ask me to do this?” I whispered.
    He studied me with hard eyes. “Sadie, I was leaving anyway in a few short weeks. We couldn’t have kept seeing each other after I left. This, and more, would happen if I tried to come back here during my free time.”
    “But you said you loved me.”
    His laugh sounded hard and mechanical. “Sometimes, Sadie, love isn’t enough. This is one of those times.”
    The door on my side opened, and Kane stood with his hand held out to me.
    Jax’s eyes seemed void of emotion.
    “Good-bye, Sadie.”
    I always knew he would have to be the one to end this. I could never walk away from him any other way. But he wanted me to now. He wanted me to leave. I was a hindrance to his life. I couldn’t fit in. I hated myself for my weakness and my emotions. But I knew they were a part of me, and I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t be what he needed. I stepped out of the car and headed toward the door, where my mother stood waiting on me. She had known somehow I would be coming back this way. The tears rolled down my face as I made my way to her, and for the first time since I was a little girl, I hurled myself into her arms and wept.

Chapter Fifteen
    JAX
    “So you’re really going to just leave her?” Jason asked, staring at me as I handed Kane my last suitcase.
    “Yeah, I am. What the
fuck
do you expect me to do? If I stay here, the media will descend and her life will just get harder. I can’t do that to her, Jason. I just can’t. Everything with us has been selfish on my part. I wanted something I should have cherished enough to leave alone, but I was weak. Now Sadie is paying for my need to be near her. I hate myself and my damn weakness.” I slammed my fist against the wall and closed my eyes tightly. I would not cry. I couldn’t. Especially not in front of Jason.
    “But I’ve seen her. She loves you. You’re different with her. You’re . . .
you
. I’ve missed you.”
    If Jason had sliced me open with a butcher knife, it would have hurt less. I shoved past him and stalked out to the limo that sat waiting to take me to the airport. I needed to get back to my old life. The one where I lived each day numb to emotion and I just sang. I could do that again. If I refused to let myself remember how sweet Sadie tasted and how good she felt in my arms. If I could ever forget how she gave me a reason to want to live.
    SADIE
    I’d never been empty and void before. Even during hard times, I’d had a dream for my future. To live without a daydream or hope for