Sea Breeze 03 - While It Lasts

headed south without once making eye contact with me. My chest felt like it was going to burst. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run after him and demand he talk to me.
    This is what it feels like to care about someone who doesn’t feel the same.
    I’d only known how it felt to love someone who loved me just as fiercely . I’d never known rejection. I’d never wanted someone who didn’t want me. The longing didn’t go away with rejection.
    Numbly , I went inside the barn and headed back to his room. I would still wash his sheets and towels. He needed clean things.
    I opened the door to his room . T he mattress was bare and a set of clean sheets were stacked on top. Beside them sat a stack of clean folded towels and washcloths . He’d taken his things to Low. She’d washed them for him.
    The sorrow only grew. She’d never have to feel the ache from Cage’s rejection. He loved her. He always would. Just like Josh had loved me without question. It had been unconditional. I hated Willow because she had something I never would: Cage York’s unconditional love. Did anyone else have that? I knew they didn’t. He never spoke of family. Low was his family. She was all that mattered to him. What must that feel like? I picked up his towels and put them on the small shelf beside the shower. Then I went about making up his bed for him. I hadn’t been able to clean his sheets for him but at least I could do something. I wanted to do something for him. Even if he no longer wanted me.

Chapter Twenty

    Cage
    She’d made my bed. Dammit. Why was she doing this? I worked hard to wash my head of her and flush her out of my system for three very long days. A lot of whiskey and women. It hadn’t worked. The only way I’d been able to perform was to close my eyes and pretend it was Eva. Calling out her name hadn ’t gone over well with the girl s who had been sober enough to realize I wasn’t mentally with them.
    The corner of my quilt was pulled back for me and a plate of f ood sat on the table beside it covered in foil to keep it warm. I just had to make it until Saturday night. Then I’d be gone again for three full days. Coach had decided I needed to start working out with the team Sunday through Tuesday. I was just supposed to work here Wednesday through Saturday now. W ilson had given Coach Mack a good report and I was being rewarded for good behavior.
    When Eva had pleaded with me earlier I’d almost cracked. The only thing that kept me from turning back to look at her had been the image of her with the other guy. She’d let him touch her and help her into the Jeep. He hadn’t been snubbed. He was good enough. I couldn’t do this with her. Being someone’s dirty little secret hadn’t bothered me until now. I didn’t want to be Eva’s secret. Things had been different with her. I’d felt something. It had been re al. It had been more. So much more.
    I took the foil off the plate and the smell from the meatloaf and corn hit me. I was ravenous. The image of Eva fixing my plate and carefully wrapping it and bringing it out here to me tugged at my chest. Damned if this wasn’t going to be hard. Luckily, I’d le arned at an early age that self- preservation was the only way to survive with your soul intact.
    Or maybe I’d lost my soul already. I doubted God let someone like me keep any gift from him. It was highly likely I’d been born without one.

    ~*~

    The lake water was getting warmer with each smoldering hot day. It wa s still cooler than the hundred- degree heat that had gotten so thick it made it hard to take deep breaths. I ducked my head under the surface and soaked my hair , slicking it back off my face.
    The sound of a car door slamming caught my attention as I surfaced. I spun around in the water to see Eva walking toward me. Shit. What was she doing now? I’d done everything I could think of to make her leave me the hell alone. Her long brown hair was flying free down her back and her flat tanned stomach was bare. The little red halter- top she was wearing wi th them damn cut off shorts sent my blood pumping.
    I should turn my head away and ignore her but she was so damn beautiful it was hard. I hadn’t allowed myself to stare at her in over a week. She stopped at the bank and started pulling her halter top off. What the fuck? A red lacy bra was covering up her tits and although I should be relieved , it wasn’t any better than the bare things. It was fucking sexy as hell.