Sea Breeze 03 - While It Lasts

for W ilson this summer. Cage , this is my family. Chad’s my cousin from Louisiana I told you about that I’m going to be rooming with.”
    I hadn’t expected a full introduction. Apparently, neither had they. I didn’t focus on any one person. W hen my eyes swept over the table I recognized Jeremy’s mother as the lady who had come by the other day. Fear festered at what her arrival could have meant. She was Josh’s mother too. I didn’t like where my mind was going with that one.
    When my gaze found Eva , she wasn’t looking at me. Her head was down and she was fiddling nervously with her napkin . Fuck.
    “Cage? Is there a problem?” W ilson asked.
    I forced myself to look at W ilson, instead of his daughter.
    “I didn’t mean to interrupt your dinner. I just needed to ask you if it was alright if my ride came and got me tonight?”
    W ilson shrugged and nod ded, “I don’t see why not. Sure boy , go on. I’ll see you Monday morning.”
    “Thanks,” I replied and swung my eyes back to Eva. She still hadn’t lifted her head. I didn’t want to leave like this. “It was uh, nice to meet y’all.” I didn’t wait for a response. I turned and made my way back to the door. I needed to get some fresh air and try real hard to get control of the panic settling in my chest.
    The screen door slammed behind me but I didn’t flinch, I just kept walking. Reaching into my pocket , I texted Low to come on and get me tonight.
    She ’d be at least an hour. Instead of going back to the c losed- in space of my makeshift bedroom , I headed down to sit in the swing under the biggest oak tree on the property. I rarely saw anyone out here. It was dark and I could stay hidden while I gathered my thoughts.
    Josh’s mother had come for a visit and Eva hadn’t spoken to me since. What had been said? Had Eva seen her and realized what she was stepping do wn from? Josh had the nice all- A meri c an family. I , on the other hand , just had Low. My momma hadn’t made me meals and washed my clothes. Hell, my momma hadn’t even taken me to the doctor when I was sick. My half-sister and I hardly ever spoke. The last I heard she’d been busted in a meth lab with he r latest boyfriend and gone to prison.
    Yeah, I had one fucking fantastic family to introduce Eva too. If she thought I wasn’t worthy now , without knowing all th at messed up shit , then I didn’t stand a chance.
    I dropped my head into my hands. Why had I let myself care? Why had I decided to fucking care about someone who wa s so out of my damn reach? Girl s like Eva didn’t want to keep me. They wanted to play with me for a while and the n go find the boy their parents would approve of. I wasn’t the keeping kind. I’d learned at a young age that women didn’t keep me. When a guy’s momma don’t want him , why the fuck should anyone else? Something was wrong with me. Always had been. When I’d found Low , I’d held onto her and decided that since she was the only girl that wanted to keep m e then she would be the one I s pent forever with. I kne w she’d never leave me. My fuck- ups would never send her running away. Then she’d found Marcus and he’d loved her in a way I never would. As much as I loved her I couldn’t love her the way it would take to be faithful.
    Then came Eva. She’d shown me I could only want one woman and be damned happy about it. Too bad tha t just like the others she didn’t want to keep me. This time I hadn’t gotten rid of her before she could figure out I wasn’t worth keeping. I wanted too much. I ’d hoped for too damn much.
    Voices drifted across the lawn and I watched as Eva came walking out of the front door with Jeremy and his cousin. I could hear their laughter. The three of them walked out to Eva’s Jeep and the cousin opened her door and whispered something in her ear before helping her get inside. Pain sliced through me.
    Jer e my climbed in the back and his cousin sat in the passenger’s seat. Eva was going out. She was moving on. I had been a side distraction.
    My eyes stung and I hated the weakness tears represented. Fuck that. I wouldn’t cry. I didn’t cry. I also didn’t fucking beg. I knew what it felt like to beg someone to want you. I’d been called a worthless piece of shit by my father from the time I was five. Then again by my mother when I was a teenager rebelling because of the life I’d been handed .
    I’d decided long ago if I was worthless then I didn’t have to live by