Sea Breeze 04 - Just for Now

good bed buddy.”
    Amanda’s eyes went wide before she let out a giggle. “As talented as I’m sure you are as a bed buddy, I think I’ll pass. I can always take the floor in the bedroom if you want me to.”
    The one night of my life I get Amanda to stay the night in my apartment, she would not be sleeping on the floor. I wanted her on my couch. Actually, I wanted her in my bed, but Daisy was kind of occupying that at the moment. I was going to make sure Amanda used one of my pillows, though. That way, I’d have her scent for a while after she was gone.
    “No, I insist. You’re sleeping on the couch.”
    Amanda studied me a minute. I could see the concern and uncertainty in her eyes. She wanted to ask me something, and she couldn’t decide if she was going to or not. I’d stand here and let her think about it as long as she wanted to.
    “Did the boys get home okay?” she finally asked.
    Not exactly what I wanted to talk about. I knew where this was headed. “Yeah, my mom came and got them.”
    “Are they, um, I mean, uh, do you think they’re gonna be okay . . . there . . . I mean . . . ,” she stammered nervously.
    I walked over to the couch and sat down, then looked back at her. “They have a phone. If they need me, they’ll call.”
    Amanda frowned and took a step in my direction. “Did your mom come up and check on Daisy?”
    This was not a life that Amanda was going to be able to comprehend. Her dad may have screwed around and left them recently, but her life had been pretty damn privileged. “No, Manda. She didn’t. She doesn’t care. There is no one on this earth I hate more than my mother. Is that what you were curious about?”
    My words had come out harder than I’d intended them to. Amanda walked over to the couch and sat down beside me. “Preston, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. I was just curious because Daisy never once asked about her mom or spoke of her today. That was odd to me. Growing up, when I was sick I always wanted my mom. I couldn’t understand why she never asked for hers.”
    I laid my head back against the wall and tilted it so I could look at Amanda. She was worried and clearly upset. I was enlightening her about a world she didn’t know existed, and that world wasn’t even the worst part about me.
    “You are the first woman to ever spend any time with Daisy. My mother is either drunk, asleep, or gone. Daisy is raised by Jimmy when they’re home. I make sure the bills stay paid and the kids have food. Then, like you saw today, if someone gets sick, I handle it.”
    “Oh God, that makes my chest hurt,” Amanda whispered, rubbing the ball of her hand over her heart. “I want to go cuddle up to Daisy and hold her. No wonder Jimmy acts twenty instead of eleven.”
    I reached over and pulled her hand away from her chest. “They’ll be okay. I am, and I didn’t have any older siblings to help me out. I made it without anyone. Don’t get upset over it. They aren’t the only kids growing up in this exact same situation.”
    Amanda’s eyes held unshed tears as she tried real hard to keep her bottom lip from quivering. Ah, hell. I’d made her cry. I hadn’t told her all that to make her cry. I’d just answered her questions. I’d let her into my screwed-up life a little. More than I’d ever let anyone in.
    “You’re the only person I’ve ever told about the kids and my mom. I’ve never even told your brother.”
    Amanda pressed her lips together tightly and nodded. She didn’t respond. She was still trying very hard not to cry. Her soft heart couldn’t handle this. If she even knew a little bit of what my mom had done to those kids and me, she’d never be able to deal with it.
    “Come here,” I said gently as I reached for her arms and pulled her against my chest.
Amanda
    Going willingly into Preston’s arms probably wasn’t real smart, but at that moment, I just didn’t care. I needed to hold him. I couldn’t go hold Jimmy and Brent, but I could hold him. And tomorrow I would give Daisy every second of my attention when I wasn’t in classes. I might even skip them just so I could stay here. She’d be going back to her mom soon. The idea of her being neglected was painful.
    “I’m sorry I told you all this,” Preston whispered against my hair as he held me tightly to him. I wasn’t sorry. He’d let me in. It was something I’d wanted. However, when I’d wanted in, I’d had no idea I was going to find this out. Images of