Sea Breeze 04 - Just for Now

was bad enough. Remembering how good it felt to be inside Amanda and having her cling to me and call out my name while she found release was a whole other issue. No one else was going to measure up to that. I’d see her and feel wrong. I couldn’t do this.
    I pulled my Jeep into the parking lot of Cassandra’s beach house. I was going to have to tell her something. Anything to put this off. I needed the money. Jimmy had another orthodontist appointment for his braces next week, and I needed at least a thousand dollars for that. Then I needed to get new windows put in the kids’ rooms. Two of them were cracked. Jimmy had said it was wetting the wall and floor when it rained. The last thing I needed was for the trailer to get a rotten floor.
    My phone rang. I glanced down to see my mom’s name light up the screen.
    Shit. Not who I wanted to talk to right now. But if I ignored her, she could go over to the apartment while I was gone and Amanda was there.
    “What?” I said angrily into the phone. It was all her fault I was even in this predicament.
    “Bring Daisy home. She’s better by now. And my car’s got a flat tire. I need new tires.”
    “I’ll bring Daisy home tonight if I think she is okay. And if you want new tires, get a damn job.”
    Stupid bitch hated for me to pay the bills, but she sure didn’t mind asking me for money.
    “You want me driving around on those bad tires of mine with your brothers and sister? Fine. I’ll drive ’em to school. They hate the bus anyhow.”
    It was a threat she’d keep because she was just that vicious.
    I glanced up at the house in front of me. I needed the money. I always needed more money. I should have forced the prick who Dewayne had invited to the poker game to pay me cash and not taken that damn flat-screen. It wouldn’t have been enough cash, but it would have helped.
    “I’ll get your tires. But you better not drive the kids anywhere until I do.”
    I hung up the phone and threw it in the passenger seat. Shutting off all emotion and locking any feelings I had for Amanda deep inside, I opened the door to my Jeep and stepped outside. I’d been doing this for three years now. I could do this. I had to.
    Three hours later I parked my Jeep back at my apartment and got out, slamming the door behind me. I’d had enough time on the drive home to get very worked up. I kicked at my tire and slammed both hands down on the hood. Deep breaths. I needed to take deep breaths. My chest hurt, my stomach was twisted in knots, and the fuck money in my pocket was heavier than it had ever been. Before I’d let Amanda in, this had been easy. Now it was sick. I was a screwed-up son of a bitch, literally. I needed to feel whole again. I needed to be near Amanda. I stalked across the parking lot and made my way up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Seeing her and holding her would make it better.
    The woman I’d just been paid well to entertain flashed in my mind, and I froze. I couldn’t touch Amanda right now. I had to get clean. I needed a shower. The hottest fucking shower I could stand. Amanda didn’t need to be close to the cheap, meaningless sex I’d just had.
    I opened the door and walked in. The television in my room was on, and I could hear the girls talking. Before either of them realized I was home, I headed for the bathroom.
Amanda
    I heard the click of the front door closing and watched the bedroom doorway for Preston to appear. He didn’t. Glancing over at Daisy, who was now watching the television again after explaining to me that this girl was a bunch of kids’ nanny and a couple of them were adopted, I eased off the bed.
    “I’ll be back,” I assured her when she turned her head full of curls to look at me. She smiled and went back to watching her show.
    I closed the bedroom door on my way out and walked into the living room. The sound of the shower answered my question. Preston had come home from the gym all sweaty, and he wanted to get clean first. That was a shame. I’d have liked to see him sweaty.
    I went over to the fridge and pulled out the fried chicken and biscuits that Daisy had helped me make earlier. Preston was sure to be hungry after being at the gym for three hours. I turned on the oven and put a chicken breast and a leg along with a couple of biscuits on a cookie sheet, then slid it inside. I wasn’t a fan of the microwave. I was more than positive it was the cause of all kinds of health problems.
    The water in the shower