Second Chance Boyfriend

She sent me exactly two texts. The second one surprised me because I knew she was stubborn and I figured she’d give up after I didn’t answer the first one.
    How could I answer it, though? She said all the right things. And I would’ve said all the wrong things. So it’s better to say nothing at all.
    She also left me one voice mail. I still have it. Sometimes, when I’m feeling really fucked up, I play it. Listen to her soft, tearful voice, those unbelievable words she says to me. By the time the message is finished, my heart literally hurts.
    It’s torture listening to it yet I can’t make myself delete that message either. Just knowing it’s there, that for one last minute she actually cared, is better than deleting those words and her voice, and pretending she doesn’t exist.
    “I’m hoping to help you with that. Your coping mechanisms,” Dr. Harris says, drawing me out of my thoughts. “I know how much she means to you. Fable. And I’m hoping that eventually, you’ll go to her and tell her you’re sorry.”
    “What if I’m not sorry?” I toss the words out, but they’re meaningless. I’m so sorry I can’t begin to explain how much of a screwup I am.
    “Then that’s another issue we’ll have to deal with,” she says gently.
    It goes on like this for another fifteen minutes and then I finally make my escape, walking out into the cold, clear winter afternoon. The sun is warm on my skin despite the temperature and I start down the sidewalk, heading for where I parked my truck. Harris’s office is downtown, in a nondescript building, and I hope like hell I don’t see anyone I know. The college campus is only a few blocks away and students hang out at the little stores, cafés and coffee shops that line the street.
    Not like I have many friends, but hell. Everyone likes to think they know me. No one really does. With the exception of one person.
    “Hey, Callahan, wait up!”
    Pausing, I glance over my shoulder to see one of my teammates running toward me, a big grin on his goofy face. Jace Hendrix is a pain in the ass but generally a good guy. He’s never done me wrong, not that any of them ever really have. “Hey.” I offer him a wave and shove my hands into my jacket pockets, waiting until he stops just in front of me.
    “Long time, no see,” Jace says. “You sort of disappeared after that last failure of a game.”
    I wince. That last failure of a game had been all my fault. “I was feeling sort of fucked up over that,” I confess.
    Hell, I can’t believe I just admitted to my failures, but Jace doesn’t seem bothered. “Yeah, you and everyone else, man. Listen, what are you doing this weekend?”
    The way Jace brushes off my statement—hell, the way he agrees with it—blows me away. “What’s going on?”
    “It’s Logan’s birthday. We’re doing it up right at the new restaurant that just opened a few blocks over. Have you heard of it?” Jace looks excited, he’s literally bouncing on his feet and I wonder what the hell is up.
    “Vaguely.” I shrug. Like I care. The last thing I want is to be social.
    But then Dr. Harris’s words ring through my head. How she wants me to reach out. And act like a real person.
    “Party’s going to be there. Got a private room and everything. I haven’t been there yet, but I hear all the waitresses are gorgeous, the drinks are delicious and loaded with alcohol and Logan’s parents arranged for a private room. Rumor has it strippers might’ve been hired out for this momentous event. Logan’s turning twenty-one, so we want to get him all sorts of fucked up.” Jace waggles his eyebrows.
    “Sounds great,” I lie. It sounds like torture. But I need to go. At the very least, make a quick appearance and then jam. I can report back to my shrink what I did. She can give me a gold star for making an effort.
    “You’ll go?” Jace looks shocked and I know why. I rarely do anything with the guys and especially the last few months, since I’ve been like a ghost.
    “I’ll be there.” I nod, unsure how I’m going to work up the energy to make an appearance, but I’ve got to do this.
    “Yeah? Awesome! I can’t wait to tell the guys. We’ve missed you. Haven’t seen you for a while and we all know how those last few games were tough on you. They were tough on all of us.” Jace’s expression is solemn and for a minute I wonder if he’s playing my ass.
    But then I realize he’s sincere. Funny how I took full responsibility