Shadows of the Workhouse

everything. He always seemed to have money. He was younger than me, but quicker and smarter. We palled up together. I’m not going to tell you what we did, because I’m not proud of it, but one day he suggested going up the West End, where the pickings would be better. I’d never been up West before. I remember feeling dazzled by the great buildings, the fine open streets, all the carriages, and ladies and gentlemen in their fine clothes. We went to Trafalgar Square and hung around. My eyes were popping out, especially at the sight of the soldiers in their crimson jackets and black trousers. One of them came over to where we were standing by a fountain. I was so flattered; I couldn’t believe he wanted to talk to us.”
    He chuckled and blew a cloud of smoke across the room.
    “I thought it was a special honour. No one had told me they were at it every day, on the look out for lads like me.
    “‘Nah then, nah then, my fine young man’ (he was talking to me, not to my mate), ‘aint a fine young man like you got nothing to do on a day like this?’
    “I must have shrugged and grinned sheepishly.
    “‘Well then, did you ever see a soldier with nothing to do?’
    “I hadn’t, but then I had never seen soldiers before, and I was struck dumb with the honour of having this splendid figure of a man single me out for conversation.
    “Then he asked me what I’d had for breakfast.
    “Nothing,” I said.
    “‘Nothing!’ he roared, ‘nothing! I’ve never heard nothing like it. Did you say nothing ?’
    “I nodded.
    “‘No wonder you’re looking a bit skinny, begging your pardon for the liberty, squire, but one can’t help noticing these things. Look at me, now.’
    “He patted a well-filled stomach with appreciation.
    “‘Bacon and liver, and brawn and kidneys, with fresh farm eggs and field mushrooms. As much bread-and-dripping as a man can eat, with beer if your taste runs to beer at breakfast, or tea and coffee, with fresh cream and sugar from Barbados. That’s the sort of breakfast a man needs to line his stomach for the day. And did you tell me you had nothing ? That is unbelievable. Unbelievable .’
    “He shook his head as though he honestly had never heard anything like it before.
    “‘Well now, young man, you come along with me. A special friend of mine runs an alehouse over there. As a great favour to me, I’m sure he can find you something to fill your stomach with. He’s got a kind heart, he has, and when I tells him that my friend – if I can make so bold as to call you my friend – has had no breakfast, it will fair melt his tender old heart, it will . . . No, not you,’ he said to my mate, who had edged forward at the mention of breakfast. He put his hand on my shoulder and led me to the alehouse.
    “It was dark and smoky inside and, after the sunlight, I couldn’t see anything, but the soldier led me to a table and sat me down.
    “‘Bill,’ he roared, ‘Bill. Does a man have to wait all day for a pint of porter? Look lively, man.’
    “The fat, well-fed figure of the landlord emerged from the gloom.
    “‘A pint of your best for me, and for my friend – er – why, bless my soul, can you believe it, I don’t even know your name. I’ve felt so comfortable with you, like I’ve known you all my life, but I don’t even know your name.’
    “I’m Joe Collett.
    “‘Joe! What a coincidence. My young brother’s called Joe. And a tall, handsome young man he is, just like you. Oh, what a lad he is, my brother Joe. Such larks! Remember the larks we’ve had in here with Joe, eh, Bill? Those were the days. My young brother Joe joined the Dragoons, and now he’s a commanding officer, with a servant and a carriage, and as much money as he knows how to spend. But I was forgetting. Now, Bill, my old mate, my young friend Joe has had a bit of a night of it, and has unfortunately missed his breakfast.’
    “The landlord sounded astonished.
    “‘Missed his breakfuss? A man can’t get through the day without a good breakfuss ’a warm him. That’s terrible, that is.’ He patted his large belly, and looked at me with a sympathetic face.
    “The sergeant winked suggestively. ‘There! I knew as how you’d see the gravity of the sitivation, Bill. I says to young Joe over by the fountain there, I’ll take you over to my mate Bill, I said, and he’ll see you right. Now what have you got out the back there you’ve got a bit of spare of, that would satisfy young Joe? Not