Silence Of The Hams

to hold you up.”
    Shelley and Patsy emerged from the church a minute later, talking and nodding. Good, Jane thought. Often people who were a lot alike got along well. Occasionally they took an instant dislike to each other. But it looked as if Shelley and Patsy were hitting it off great. Jane finally pried them apart and drove home. “We’re meeting Patsy at two to talk about the high school graduation night plans for next year,“ Shelley said. “Fascinating woman.”
    When Jane got home, Todd was sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal and fending off the cats, who were sitting on chairs, watching every slurpy bite and hoping for a milk spill. “Mike’s been calling and calling, Mom. You’re supposed to call him back at the deli.”
    Alarmed, Jane dialed. Mike answered. “What’s wrong?“ she asked.
    “Calm down, Mom. I just left my billfold at home with my driver’s license.“
    “Oh, is that all! You scared me. Why didn’t you just come home and get it?“
    “Because there’s a cop sitting out front with a speed trap.“
    “Then don’t speed or walk home.”
    Mike didn’t even bother to scoff at the idea of walking. “Mom, you want to talk about what’ll happen to your insurance rates if he decides to stop me anyhow and I’m driving without a license?“
    “Okay, okay. You’re right. Where’s the billfold?”
    She ventured into his room, trying not to see the piles of dirty laundry, trying not to think how very soon this room would be unoccupied most of the time and dirty laundry would be a welcome sight, and found the billfold just where he said it was. Instead of parking in front, she pulled through the alley and parked next to Mike’s truck in the back. He was loading carry-out lunches into the back. She handed over the billfold.
    “Thanks, Mom. Listen—“ he said, taking her aside and lowering his voice. “Something weird. I parked here this morning about an hour ago, went inside to help out, and when I came back out, I realized somebody had been in the truck.“
    “What?“
    “They didn’t take anything. There’s nothing to take. I left my portable CD player at home today. I guess maybe somebody knew I had one and was going to grab it.“
    “If nothing’s missing, how do you know somebody got into the truck?“
    “Because the seat was pushed back as far as it can go.“
    “Good Lord! Do you think someone was trying to steal it?“
    “I don’t know, but I’m locking it up every time I get out now. And if you park back here again, you should, too.“
    “Mike, I’d pay somebody to steal the station wagon,“ she joked.
    “Lock it up anyway,“ he said seriously. “There’s lots of kids around here and they were probably just looking over the truck, but still—come inside. Conrad has something he wants you to try. I’ve got to go. See you later.”
    Jane did as he suggested, then knocked on the back door to the kitchen. Sarah opened the door. “Oh, Jane. Good. Conrad wants you to try the artichoke dip. It’s a new recipe.“
    “Sarah?“ Conrad said, “What are you doing down here? I told you I don’t need any help. You should be upstairs resting. Hi, Jane. Come on in.”
    Grace was cutting up spring onions. “Conrad, she’s rested all morning,“ she said.
    “Yes, honey. I need something to do,“ Sarah said.
    “Not until you’re back up to speed,“ he said firmly, giving her a light kiss and a gentle shove toward the stairway.
    Sarah went without any more protest, but Jane saw Grace’s back stiffen.
    Conrad gestured to Jane to sit at the small desk by the phone. He brought over a plate with an assortment of crackers and a little dish of steaming dip. “Careful. It’s still hot.”
    Jane tested the dip. “Wonderful! What’s in it?“
    “Artichokes, beer, cream cheese, and some seasonings,“ he said, pleased. “The trick is keeping it from getting too runny. Now here’s some from the same batch that’s cooled.“
    “Conrad, I think it’s even better warm than hot,“ Jane decided.
    Grace, finished with her job, came and sat down. “That’s what I think, too. But Conrad’s fretting about keeping it hot.”
    He shrugged. “Two to one against me. I guess I’m beaten.“
    “What does Sarah think?“ Jane asked. “Oh, Sarah doesn’t like artichokes,“ he said. “She loved them when we were kids,”
    Grace said with surprise.
    “People change,“ he replied.
    Grace started to say something, but, sensing tension, Jane