Silencing Eve

She added wearily, “But I don’t want to do it today.”
    “I know,” he said curtly. “You’re so fragile, a wind could blow you away. You’re bleeding inside. I can see it. Feel it.”
    “Am I? I guess you’re probably right. At least, figuratively. You know a lot about blood.”
    “Not enough to save your lover.”
    She stiffened. “No, you couldn’t do that. Though you did try.”
    “You bet I did.” His dark eyes were glittering in his taut face. “I tried everything I knew. I didn’t want Trevor to die. I knew it would be like this. Now he’s a damn martyr. How can I fight a martyr?”
    “Do you mind if we don’t talk about this right now?” she said unevenly. “I think perhaps it’s time you left, Caleb.”
    “Yes, it is. But I can’t go until I’ve said what I have to say. It’s been seething inside me, and it has to come out.” His grasp tightened on the delicate stem of his glass. “And all these fine people who love you and sympathize with your loss would tell me not to put you through this. But everyone knows what a selfish bastard I am.”
    “You weren’t selfish when you tried to save me from being shot. You covered me with your body.”
    “Unusual circumstances. I didn’t think, I just acted.” He took a step closer to her, and said through his teeth, “I was angry. She was going to kill you. She’d already shot Trevor.”
    “You still did it.”
    “Don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m all that’s good and noble like Trevor. I’m not like him. I won’t be like him.”
    “No, there’s no one who could be like Trevor.” She smiled faintly. “And he wouldn’t like you calling him noble. I remember that when you did it before, he laughed at you.”
    “He laughed because we were so different. He had a code of honor, and I am what I am. We weren’t even on the same page.” His lips tightened. “And yet he said I could be anything I wanted to be.”
    “I remember that.”
    “But I won’t be what he wants me to be.” His voice was suddenly harsh. “I liked that son of a bitch. I didn’t want to like him, but I did anyway. Even at the end, I was mad as hell because I couldn’t save him.” His dark gaze was burning into her own. “And then he looked at me, and I knew what he was thinking, what he wanted of me. It was all about you.”
    She shook her head in bewilderment. “I don’t know what you mean.”
    “He had an obsession about taking care of you, of making sure you were safe and well. He was crazy about you, so that shouldn’t be surprising. But even as he was dying, he was worrying about you.”
    “I know.” She tried to keep her voice from breaking. “That was Trevor.”
    “But he found a solution, didn’t he? He looked at me, and I could see what he was thinking. What he was asking. You didn’t even realize that, did you?”
    “I still don’t.”
    “He wants me to take care of you, to keep you from being unhappy, to guard you.” His voice was harsh with exasperation and anger. “He wants me to be him, dammit.”
    “That’s crazy.”
    “Do you think I don’t know that? Even Trevor couldn’t believe that I’d be able to change dark to light. But he wanted to tie my hands. And he was willing to let me stand in and take care of what he regarded as necessary.”
    She shook her head. “You have to be mistaken.”
    “Am I? Think about it.”
    “And, if you’re not mistaken, then you’re still not someone who would let your life be influenced by Trevor’s irrational wish. He was dying, Caleb.”
    “A dying man’s last wish,” Caleb said. “You’re right, a callous bastard like me shouldn’t pay any attention to it. Because if I did, it would interfere with everything I intend to do to you and with you. I can overcome this setback. Given time, memories will fade, and I’ll be ready.”
    She shook her head.
    He smiled. “You don’t think so now, but it will happen.”
    His voice was soft and silky, the passionate intensity nearly tangible. She could suddenly feel the force, the power, the fire of him. She instinctively took a step back. “My memories of Trevor won’t fade.”
    “Then you won’t be doing what Trevor wanted you to do. He didn’t want you to look back. Remember what he said when he knew he was dying.”
    You have to think of it as forever.
    “It doesn’t matter. I can’t let him go.” She moistened her lips. “I’m going to go to bed now. Please leave, Caleb.”
    He nodded jerkily.