Slammed

kisses. I can't tell where my hands end and his begin as we both frantically pull at each other, our hands exploring each other's bodies. I wrap my legs around his waist and pull his mouth to my neck so I can catch my breath. All the feelings I have for him come rushing back. I try to hold back tears as I realize just how much I really do love him. Oh my god, I love him. I’m in love with Will Cooper.
     
    I no longer try to control my breathing; it would be pointless.
     
    "Will," I say as he continues exploring my neck with his lips. "Does this mean…does it mean we don't have to pretend…anymore?" I'm breathing so heavily I can barely form a cohesive sentence. "We can be…together? Since you're not…since you're not my teacher?"
     
    His hands soften their hold on by back as his lips slowly close and pull away from my neck. I try to pull him back into me but he resists. He puts his hands on my calves and unlocks my legs from around his waist as he backs up and leans against the wall behind him, avoiding my eyes.
     
    My hands grip the edges of the dryer as I slide off with a jerk. "Will?" I say as I take a step toward him.
     
    The light from the kitchen casts a shadow across his face but I can see his jaw-it's clenched. His eyes are full of shame as he looks at me apologetically.
     
    "Will? Tell me. Do the rules still apply?"
     
    He doesn't have to answer me-I can tell by his reaction that they do.
     
    "Lake," he says quietly. "I had a weak moment, I'm sorry."
     
    I shove my hands into his chest.
     
    "A weak moment ? That's what you call this? A weak moment ?" I yell. "What were you gonna do , Will? When were you gonna stop making out with me and kick me out of your house this time?" I spin and turn out of the laundry room and make my way through the kitchen.
     
    "Lake, don't. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It won't happen again, I swear."
     
    I stop and turn toward him. "You're damn right it won't! I finally accepted it, Will. After an entire month of torture, I was finally able to be around you again. Then you go and do this ! I can't do it anymore," I cry. "The way you consume my mind when we aren't together? I don't have time for it anymore. I've got more important things to think about now than your little weak moments ."
     
    I cross the living room and open the front door and pause. "Get me the measuring tape," I say calmly.
     
    "Wh-what?" he says.
     
    "It's on the damn floor! Get me the measuring tape!"
     
    I hear his footsteps fade as he walks to the laundry room. He retrieves the measuring tape and brings it back to me. As he places it in my grasp, he squeezes my hand.
     
    "Don't make me the bad guy, Lake. Please."
     
    I pull my hand away from his. "Well you're certainly not the martyr, anymore."
     
    I turn and walk out, slamming the door behind me. I cross the street and don't look back to see if he's watching me. I don't care anymore.
     
    I pause at our entryway and take a deep breath as I wipe my eyes. I open the front door to our home , put a smile across my face, and help my mother make her very last Halloween costumes.
     

19.
     
    “ Ain’t it like most people
    I’m no different
    We love to talk on things
    We don’t know about.”
    -The Avett Brothers, 10,000 words
     
     
     

Chapter Nineteen
     
     
     
    Will and Caulder end up going out of town after all. Mom and I spend most of Saturday and Sunday putting the finishing touches on the costumes. I let my mother know about Will's schedule and how we'll be helping them out more. As pissed as I am, I don't want Caulder and Kel to have to suffer. Sunday night when Will gets home I don't even notice; because I don't even care.
     
    ***
     
    "Kel, call Caulder and tell him he can come over and put his costume on," I say as I drag Kel out of bed. "Will has to leave early anyway. He can get ready over here."
     
    It's Halloween, day of the cancerous lungs. Kel runs to the kitchen and grabs the phone.
     
    I take a shower and finish getting ready, then wake my mother up so she can see the end results. After she gets dressed, under instruction from Caulder and Kel, she closes her eyes. I walk her into the living room and position her in front of the two boys.
     
    "Wait!" Caulder says. "What about Will? He needs to see us, too."
     
    I usher my mother back into the hallway as I run to the front door, throw on my boots and go outside. He's pulling out of his driveway so I flag him down. I can see by the look on his face that he's hoping