Soul Music

said. “We done music with rocks in all right! That bit where Jimbo smashed his guitar, they loved that bit!”
    “Smashed his guitar?”
    “Yeah,” said Jimbo, with the pride of the artist. “On Scum.”
    Buddy had his eyes closed. Cliff thought he could see a very, very faint glow surrounding him, like a thin mist. There were tiny points of light in it.
    Sometimes, Buddy looked very elvish.
    Asphalt scurried off the stage.
    “Okay, all done,” he said.
    The others looked at Buddy.
    He was still standing with his eyes shut, as if he was asleep on his feet.
    “We’ll…get on out there, then?” said Glod.
    “Yes,” said Cliff, “we’ll get on out dere, will we? Er, Buddy?”
    Buddy’s eyes snapped open suddenly.
    “Let’s rock,” he whispered.
    Cliff had thought that the sound was loud before, but it hit him like a club as they trooped out of the wings.
    Glod picked up his horn. Cliff sat down and found his hammers.
    Buddy walked to the center of the stage and, to Cliff’s amazement, just stood there looking down at this feet.
    The cheering began to subside.
    And then died away altogther. The huge hall was filled with the hush of hundreds of people holding their breath.
    Buddy’s fingers moved.
    He picked out three simple little chords.
    And then he looked up.
    “Hello, Ankh-Morpork!”
    Cliff felt the music rise up behind him and rush him forward into a tunnel of fire and sparks and excitement. He brought his hammers down. And it was Music With Rocks In.

    C.M.O.T. Dibbler stood out in the street so that he didn’t have to hear the music. He was smoking a cigar and doing calculations on the back of an overdue bill for stale buns.
    Lessee…okay, have it outside somewhere, so there’s no rent…maybe ten thousand people, one sausage-inna-bun each at a dollar fifty, no, say a dollar seventy-five, mustard tenpence extra…ten thousand Band With Rocks In shirts at five dollars each, make that ten dollars…add stall rental for other traders, because people who like Music With Rocks In could probably be persuaded to buy anything…
    He was aware of a horse coming along the street. He paid it no attention until a female voice said: “How do I get in here?”
    “No chance. Tickets all sold out,” said Dibbler, without moving his head. Even Band With Rocks In posters, people had been offering three dollars just for posters, and Chalky the Troll could knock out a hundred a—
    He looked up. The horse, a magnificent white one, watched him incuriously.
    Dibbler looked around. “Where’d she go?”

    There were a couple of trolls lounging just inside the entrance.
    Susan ignored them. They ignored her.

    In the audience, Ponder Stibbons looked both ways and cautiously opened a wooden box.
    The stretched string inside began to vibrate.
    “This is all wrong!” he shouted in Ridcully’s ear. “This is not according to the laws of sound!”
    “Maybe they’re not laws!” screamed Ridcully. People a foot away couldn’t hear him. “Maybe they’re just guidelines!”
    “No! There have to be laws!”
    Ridcully saw the Dean try to climb on the stage in the excitement. Asphalt’s huge troll feet landed heavily on his fingers.
    “Oh, I say, good shot,” said the Archchancellor.
    A prickling sensation on the back of his neck made him look around.
    Although the Cavern was crowded, a space seemed to have formed in the floor. People were pressed together but, somehow, this circle was as inviolate as a wall.
    In the middle of it was the girl he’d seen in the Drum. She was walking across the floor, holding her dress daintily.
    Ridcully’s eyes watered.
    He stepped forward, concentrating. You could do almost anything if you concentrated. Anyone could have stepped into the circle if their senses had been prepared to let them know it was there. Inside the circle the sound was slightly muted.
    He tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around, startled.
    “Good evening,” said Ridcully. He looked her up and down, and then said, “I’m Mustrum Ridcully, Archchancellor of Unseen University. I can’t help wondering who you are.”
    “Er…” the girl looked panicky for a moment. “Well, technically…I suppose I’m Death.”
    “Technically?”
    “Yes. But not on duty at the moment.”
    “Very glad to hear that.”
    There was a shriek from the stage as Asphalt threw the Lecturer in Recent Runes into the audience, which applauded.
    “Can’t say I’ve seen that much of Death,” said Ridcully.