Sullivans 06 - Let Me Be the One

wanted her, until he finally let his own control go too.

Chapter Nineteen
     
    Vicki woke up curled into Ryan’s arms, the room dark, the covers up over them. His heart beat strong and steady beneath her open palm on his chest. Even in sleep, she’d needed to keep her hands on him, to make sure she didn’t lose that most elemental of connections.
    Panic threatened to crash through the warmth, the remembered pleasures that still throbbed between her legs, at the tips of her breasts, on her tingling lips. Dawn would break soon and then they would have to face reality, cold and hard and awkward.
    All she wanted was to luxuriate in her fantasy-made-real for a few more seconds. Vicki knew it wasn’t forever, that their lovemaking had been some crazy blip on the radar screen, but letting herself be held by the man she’d loved forever, breathing him in for just a few more seconds, was something she simply had to do.
    Ryan shifted, a low sound rumbling up from his chest as he pulled her closer so that her cheek rested on his chest and her hands slid around his waist.
    Vicki’s heart fluttered with the pleasure of the sweetest moment she’d experienced yet. Making love with Ryan had been extraordinary, but she felt this closeness way down deep in the farthest reaches of her heart.
    A few more minutes. That was all she wanted with Ryan before she slipped from his arms and went back to her own bedroom. But right now it was good, so damned good just to be close to him.
    Vicki closed her eyes and fell asleep again to the beautiful beat of Ryan’s heart.
     
    * * *
     
    The next time she woke, she was alone in Ryan’s bed and could smell bacon frying. Her stomach grumbled even as she realized that this morning wasn’t like the others they’d shared.
    Instead of walking out of her own bedroom fully clothed, she was going to be making the walk of shame out of his.
    Hating the way her heart was pounding so hard— It’s just Ryan, she reminded herself in a firm inner voice—she slid naked from his bed and saw that he’d laid a robe out for her. She loved the way it smelled like him as she slipped her arms into it. The sleeves were so long she had to roll them up several times, then wrap the robe nearly twice around herself before closing it. She was certain she must look ridiculous, but just then she couldn’t bring herself to care.
    Not when it was almost as good as being wrapped in Ryan’s arms.
    Besides, the only way to deal with this situation was head-on, she told herself as she opened the bedroom door and headed down the hall. And yet, she still couldn’t quite bring herself to walk into the kitchen. She needed a few more seconds to try to clear her head of the delicious memories of the way he’d touched and kissed and loved her the night before.
    From where she was standing at the top of the stairs, she was able to watch him moving around in the kitchen below. Since he’d left his robe for her, all he had on was a pair of navy-blue cotton boxers.
    She. Would. Not. Drool.
    Okay, so she would. She was only human.
    Really, she told herself, it was no different than those shirtless pictures of him working out she’d seen in the press. She’d gotten used to looking at those without having heart palpitations. She could survive this, too.
    And clearly, since Ryan was already up making breakfast rather than trying to convince her to go for another round of crazy monkey sex in the morning, he was on board with the get-right-back-to-normal plan.
    Ryan looked up and saw her then, his beautiful mouth moving into a huge smile. “Good morning, gorgeous.”
    Had he put extra emphasis on the word good , or was her mind playing games with her? Lord knew, she’d never say or hear that word quite the same ever again, after last night.
    “I made your favorite.”
    Her heart skipped a beat and she almost missed a step, needing to grip the rail extra hard to steady herself as she realized all over again just how wonderful Ryan was.
    If she’d ruined their friendship by sleeping with him she’d never, ever forgive herself.
    Whatever she had to do to fix this, she’d do.
    Even if it meant giving up the stunning pleasure of any and all future nights in his arms.
    “Thank you,” she said as she took her plate from the counter and sat at the breakfast table by the window.
    “It was my pleasure.”
    Her entire body tingled at the way he’d just said pleasure . For all the warnings she’d given herself since waking up,