Summer Fever

did show up the next day, he started apologizing for not calling the day before. “I got caught up on a case and it just snowballed. I didn’t think you’d want me to wake you in the middle of the night –”
    “You don’t owe me an explanation,” I said stonily. “We’re not boyfriends.”
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    He stopped, looking at me apprehensively. “I never said we were.”
    “Oh yeah? Then how come it’s all over town that I’m your new squeeze?” I crossed my arms over my chest.
    “All over town? What’re you talking about?”
    “I went to FishnBait and Miss Agnes was practically passing out wedding invitations for us.”
    “Technically, it’s not legal for gays to marry in New York State. Yet,” he said.
    Another time I might have laughed. “So what did you tell her?” Incredulously, he asked, “Do you honestly think Miss Agnes is the Ann Landers of Sackettville? I didn’t tell her anything!”
    “Then how does she know?”
    The corner of his mouth twitched a little. “My, uh, sister-in-law may have overheard me talking to my brother about you.”
    “What’d you say?” I demanded.
    “Just asked if he remembered your parents and said you were up here for a visit,” he said, looking a little guilty. “And that I might be over here saying hey.”
    “And this got to Miss Agnes how?”
    “Well, George did accuse me of mooning over you, and his wife thought it was cute,” Russ said. “But wait a minute. You’re out, so what do you care if people know you’re gay?”
    “It’s not the gay part, it’s the boyfriend part,” I gritted out between clenched teeth. “I don’t do boyfriends.” 54

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    “You only do strangers, then?” he asked offensively.
    He took a step toward me and I was reminded of that dangerous part of him, that I’d only had a glimpse of.
    “Yes, I’m a slut. I fuck men in bathrooms at clubs if I think they’re hot.” Cruelly I added, “And I let them fuck me.”
    “Isn’t that sort of germy?”
    I suppressed a sudden attack of nervous giggles. “I take handy-wipes with me.”
    “Oh good, well I guess you got the bacteria angle covered,” he said sarcastically. “What about love?”
    “What about it?”
    “Don’t you ever want to feel love for the person you’re sharing your body with? Wouldn’t you like to find ‘the one’ and settle down and build a life?”
    He was staring at me with those dark, puppy-dog eyes and a part of me didn’t want to disappoint him by revealing how shallow I really was. But it occurred to me that this was the perfect opportunity to make him go away and leave me alone.
    “No.”
    He put out a hand as if to touch me and I stared at it until he let it drop to his side.
    “I don’t know who hurt you, Jadey, but you’re selling yourself short.
    You deserve more than you’re willing to settle for.” He turned and headed for the door, and I congratulated myself even while I had to quell the impulse to run after him.
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    He turned back and I hardened my face.
    “If you change your mind, I’ll be around,” he said.
    “Forever? Two years? Maybe ten years from now I’ll want a piece of ass and give you call and you’ll be there?” I hated myself for being so bitchy.
    He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll never meet anyone like you again.
    Maybe it’s a limited-time offer.”
    I remembered saying that to him, the first time we met. “Don’t hold your breath.”
    “Goodbye, Jadey.”
    His back was stiff as he walked out to his truck. I wondered that I could be such a shit to a man who’d been nothing but kind and gentle to me, but that’s just the way it had to be.
    I closed the door and walked out to the deck like a zombie.

    I couldn’t even get decently drunk.
    Ordinarily two beers will see me dancing on tables with a lampshade on my head (it’s a body mass thing), but after I polished off the four left in the fridge from the six-pack Russ had brought over, that was it for the booze. My parents weren’t big drinkers despite their sense of humor when it came to naming their kids.
    No way was I going back to the FishnBait. I wasn’t sure I could face Miss Agnes again, not only after being a snarky bastard to her, but if it got 56

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    out that I broke up with Russ, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be within arm’s length of her.
    Not that we had ever been boyfriends. I just had to set him straight.
    I