Summer Fever

complicated; just fun and swimming and running around with my siblings getting into trouble.
    I wasn’t exactly dozing, but I fell into that dreamy state where your mind just drifts and it’s all about sensation. Not sex, just the sun on my skin, the balmy air, the feeling of his chest lifting under me as he breathed.
    Russ seemed to have the gift of stillness. He didn’t talk or expect me to, and he had endless patience to sit there with me for hours that afternoon. He didn’t seem to want anything from me. It was nice.
    I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spent a whole afternoon doing nothing at all.
    Eventually I did fall asleep, lulled by the ease and comfort of being with him. He woke me with his lips, brushing over my cheek. “Wake up, Jadey, it’s getting late.”
    “I’m sorry. You have to go?”
    “No, but the mosquitoes are coming out. I want to get some more soup into you before you’re out for the night.” I nodded stupidly and scooted forward on my butt. He got to his feet and offered his hand to pull me up. I let him hold me around the waist and he supported me back to the house. I went to pee while he went into the kitchen.
    When I made it back into the living room, he had a mug of chicken soup waiting for me. I took a sip and it felt good on my throat. “Did you cook this?”
    48

    Summer Fever | Catt Ford

    He threw back his head and laughed. I noticed how white his teeth were and the strong muscles of his throat, and it made me feel like I might live long enough to want to have sex again sometime in my lifetime.
    “Well, I opened the can and heated it up. I can take credit for putting it into the mug, I guess.”
    “Well, it’s good.” I sipped some more.
    He took the cup from my hands before I dropped it. “Time for bed.” I pulled back when he led me into the master bedroom. “This is my parents’ room,” I mumbled.
    “Well, they’re not here and we both won’t fit in your bed,” he explained patiently. “Unless you want me to sleep in your brother’s bed.”
    “You’re staying over?” I asked uncertainly.
    “Yeah, in case you need something.”
    “Okay.”
    After he lay down, I snuggled up to him, needing his warmth. I didn’t ever spend the night with my hookups, so it was a novel feeling to have someone by my side in the bed all night. Every time I woke up he was right there. I felt like maybe it was something I could get used to.
    In the morning, he woke me with a kiss. He was fully dressed and he had his keys in his hand.
    “I put some ginger ale in the refrigerator and left out another can of soup if you want it.” He looked at me. “I could ask someone to come over if you want….”
    “No, thanks. I’m feeling a lot better. I’ll be okay.” Awkward pause.
    “Thanks for coming to check on me.”
    49

    Summer Fever | Catt Ford

    He bent to kiss me goodbye and I was suddenly shaken by the gesture.
    It seemed so ordinary and yet extraordinary, as if we were boyfriends or something. “You need a shave,” he said.
    “Yeah. Probably a shower too.”
    “See you later,” he said, and he left.
    I heard the door close behind him and listened for the sound of his truck starting up. As the noise dwindled away I decided that something had to be done. But what?

    THE next day I felt a lot better, although not one hundred percent, and, I’m sorry to say, ready to go on bitch patrol.
    Yeah, go figure, a gay man in a bitchy mood.
    Yesterday I’d been touched and a little happy that Russ had come by to see me. Today it felt like an invasion of my privacy and as if he was making assumptions about what was going on between us.
    I mean, the sex was great and I would have been up for more if I could have been sure that he wasn’t drifting into taking for granted that we were an item, because we weren’t. This was just a summer fling, and I would have to make sure to keep it that way.
    Besides, I lived in the city and he lived up here in a town so small it couldn’t even really be called a town. Long distance relationships never worked. My relationships never worked.
    I would have to make that clear to him. Fucking was fine, but all the touchy-feely stuff was off limits.
    50

    Summer Fever | Catt Ford

    The soft, sappy side of me was protesting, reminding me how tender and careful he’d been of me, but I shut that down quick by reminding the soft, sappy side how much it hurt when a man you loved walked away without a backward glance when they found someone