The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared

before you get blown up!’
    The little man with the medals gave a start. Then his entourage dragged him over the bridge and didn’t stop until they had reached Allan’s bush. Eight rifles were suddenly pointed at the Swede and at least one of them would have been fired if it hadn’t been for the bridge suddenly blowing up behind them all. The pressure wave knocked the little man with the medals into Allan’s bush. In the tumult, none of the little man’s entourage dared send a bullet in Allan’s direction, since it might hit the wrong person. Besides, he appeared to be a civilian. And when the smoke settled there was no longer any question of killingAllan. The little man with the medals shook his hand and explained that a real general knows how to show his appreciation and that the best thing now was for the group to withdraw to the other side again, with or without a bridge. If his saviour wanted to come along, he was more than welcome. Once there, the general would invite him to dinner.
    ‘Paella Andaluz,’ said the general. ‘My cook is from the south. ¿Comprende ?’
    Yes, indeed, Allan understood. He understood that he had saved the life of the generalissimo himself; he understood that it was probably to his advantage to be standing there in his dirty jacket instead of in enemy uniform; he understood that his friends on the hill a few hundred metres away would be watching the whole thing through binoculars and he understood that for the sake of his health it would be best to change sides in the war the purpose of which he hadn’t in any case understood.
    Besides, he was hungry.
    ‘ Sí, por favor, mí general ,’ said Allan. Paella would hit the spot. Perhaps with a glass or two of red wine?
    When, ten years earlier, Allan had applied for a job as an ignition specialist at the foundry in Hälleforsnäs, he had chosen to exclude from his résumé the fact that he had been in an asylum for four years, after which he had blown up his own house. Perhaps that was why the job interview went so well.
    Allan thought back to that while he chatted with General Franco. On the one hand, you shouldn’t lie. On the other, it would be best not to reveal to the general that it was Allan who had set the charge under the bridge and that he had, for the last three years, been a civilian employee of the republican army. Allan wasn’t shy, but in this particular case there was a dinner and good booze on offer. The truth could temporarily be set aside, Allan thought.
    So, Allan told the generalissimo that he had found himself in the bush while fleeing from the republicans. Luckily he had personally observed how the charge had been set, so he was able to warn the general. Furthermore, the reason he had ended up in Spain and the war at all was that he had been tempted there by a friend, a man who had a close relationship with the deceased Primo di Rivera. But since that friend had been killed by an enemy mortar shell, Allan had been forced to struggle on his own to stay alive. He had been in the clutches of the republicans, but eventually managed to break out.
    And then Allan quickly changed the subject, telling instead of how his father had been in the inner circle of the court of the Russian Tsar Nicholas and that his father had died a martyr’s death in a hopeless battle with the leader of the Bolsheviks, Lenin.
    Dinner was served in the general staff’s tent. The more red wine Allan downed, the more colourful the descriptions of his father’s heroic deeds. General Franco could not fail to be impressed. First his life is saved, then it turns out that his saviour is practically related to Tsar Nicholas II.
    The food was excellent, the Andalusian cook did not dare let it be anything else. And the wine flowed in an endless series of toasts in honour of Allan, of Allan’s father, of Tsar Nicholas II, and of the Tsar’s family. And finally the general fell asleep just as he was giving Allan a big hug to seal the fact that they had just progressed to the familiar tu .
    When the two now firm friends woke up again, the war was over. General Franco took charge of the government of the new Spain and offered Allan the position as head of his internal bodyguard. Allan thanked him for the offer, but said that it was high time for him to be heading home, if Francisco would allow it. And Francisco would, even writing a letter giving the generalissimo’s unconditional protection (‘just show this if youneed any help’) and