The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

stick is bending?'
    'Yes, you said.'
    'It's bent some more since then, boss.'
    Keith grabbed one end of the dresser and grunted as he tried to move it. 'It's like a rock!' he said.
    'It's full of crockery,' said Malicia, now quite bewildered. 'But rats don't really talk, do they?'
    'Get out of the way!' shouted Keith. He grabbed the back edge of the dresser with both hands, and braced one foot against the wall, and heaved.
    Slowly, like a mighty forest tree, the dresser pitched forward. The crockery started to fall out as it tipped, plate slipping off plate like one glorious chaotic deal from a very expensive pack of cards. Even so, some of them survived the fall onto the floor, and so did some of the cups and saucers as the cupboard opened and added to the fun, but that didn't make any difference because then the huge, heavy woodwork thundered down on top of them.
    One miraculously whole plate rolled past Keith, spinning round and round and getting lower on the floor with the groiyuoiyoi yooooinnnnggg sound you always get in these distressing circumstances.
    Keith reached down to the trap and grabbed Sardines. As he pulled the rat up the stick gave way and the trap snapped shut. A bit of the stick spun away through the air.
    'Are you all right?' Keith asked.
    'Well, boss, all I can say is it's a good job rats don't wear underwear… Thanks, boss,' said Sardines. He was quite plump for a rat, but when his feet were dancing he could float across the floor like a balloon.
    There was the sound of a tapping foot.
    Malicia, with arms folded and an expression like a thunderstorm, looked at Sardines, and then at Maurice, and then at the stupid-looking Keith, and then at the wreckage on the floor.
    'Er… sorry about the mess,' said Keith. 'But he was-'
    She waved this away. 'OK,' she said, as if she'd been thinking deeply. 'It goes like this, I think. The rat is a magical rat. I bet he's not the only one. Something happened to him, or them, and now they're really quite intelligent, despite the tap-dancing. And… they're friends with the cat. So… why would rats and a cat be friends? And it goes… there's some kind of an arrangement, right? I know! Don't tell me, don't tell me…'
    'Huh?' said Keith.
    'I shouldn't think anyone ever has to tell you anything ,' said Maurice.
    '… it's something to do with plagues of rats, right? All those towns we've heard about… well, you heard about them too, and so you got together with thingy here-'
    'Keith,' said Keith.
    '… yes… and so you go from town to town pretending to be a plague of rats, and thingy-'
    'Keith.'
    '… yes… pretends to be a rat piper and you all follow him out. Right? It's all a big swindle, yes?'
    Sardines looked up at Maurice. 'She's got us bang to rights, boss,' he said.
    'So now you've got to give me a good reason why I don't call the Watch out on you,' said Malicia triumphantly.
    I don't have to, Maurice thought, because you won't. Gosh, humans are so easy . He rubbed up against Malicia's legs and gave her a smirk. 'If you do, you'll never find out how the story ends,' he said.
    'Ah, it'll end with you going to prison ,' said Malicia, but Maurice saw her staring at the stupid-looking Keith and at Sardines. Sardines still had his little straw hat on. When it comes to attracting attention, that sort of thing counts for a lot.
    When he saw her frowning at him Sardines hastily removed his straw hat and held it in front of him, by the brim. 'There's something I'd like to find out, boss,' he said, 'if we're finding out things.'
    Malicia raised an eyebrow. 'Well?' she said. 'And don't call me boss!'
    'I'd like to find out why there's no rats in this city, guv,' said Sardines. He tap-danced a few steps, nervously. Malicia could glare better than a cat.
    'What do you mean, no rats?' she said. 'There's a plague of rats! And you're a rat, anyway!'
    'There's rat runs all over the place and there's a few dead rats but we haven't found a living rat anywhere, guv.'
    Malicia leaned down. 'But you are a rat ,' she said.
    'Yes, guv. But we only arrived this morning.' Sardines grinned nervously as Malicia gave him another long stare.
    'Would you like some cheese?' she said. 'I'm afraid it's only mousetrap.'
    'I don't think so, thank you very much all the same,' said Sardines, very carefully and politely.
    'It's no use, I think it really is time to tell the truth,' said Keith.
    'Nonononononono,' said Maurice, who hated that kind of thing. 'It's all because-'
    'You were