The Book of Death (Bourbon Kid 4)

top of
him.
    Neither of them could sustain a
firm grip on the book. But with each passing moment it became more evident that
Sanchez was no match for his opponent. The vampire had blood-crazed eyes and
where initially he had been focussed only on retrieving the book he suddenly caught
sight of the ample flesh on Sanchez’s neck. It was glowing red in the cold. In
vampire terms it must have looked like a juicy steak.
    As the Santa lunged forward to
take a bite, Sanchez wrestled hard with The Book of Death, hoping to use it as
a shield. With one almighty tug he managed to yank it upwards. It hit the Santa
underneath the chin, knocking his head away just as he was about to sink his
teeth into some flesh.
    Drastic evasive action would be
required to get out of this mess. Fortunately Sanchez had the survival
instincts a weasel could only dream of. He pulled his hand away from the book
and pulled at the Santa’s beard. As he suspected it was attached around the
vampire’s face with elasticated string. He pulled it back as far as he could
before releasing it and allowing it to snap sharply back into the Santa’s face,
covering his mouth and more importantly his fangs. The Santa wasn’t fazed by it
though and instead seized the initiative and tugged harder at the book,
forgetting about biting anything for a moment. It took only a couple of seconds
for him to rip the book completely from Sanchez’s grip. He then sat
triumphantly astride the hapless bartender, grinning maniacally. He tossed the
book down on the pavement by his side and leered down at Sanchez, pulling his
beard back into position.
    ‘Time to die, fat man!’ the
Santa hissed, reaching inside his red jacket. He pulled out a small silver hip
flask. ‘I’ve tried your hipflask. Now try some of mine!’ he sneered.
    ‘No thanks,’ said Sanchez
frantically fumbling around in the snow just beneath the kerb with his free
hand.
    As the Santa unscrewed the lid
on his flask Sanchez put Operation Weasel into action. He felt the cold metal
of his Zippo lighter in his fingers. He plucked it from the snow and flicked it
open, then thrust it towards the Santa’s beard. The Santa never saw it coming
and Sanchez watched with glee as the fat bastard’s thick grey beard went up in
flames.
    ‘SHEEEEE-IIIIIIIT!’ the Santa
screamed as the flames flew up towards his face. He rolled off Sanchez and onto
the snow on the pavement, dropping his hip flask to the floor.
    With the vampire rolling around
face down in the snow attempting to put out the flames on his beard, Sanchez
seized his chance. He hauled himself up and reached for the silver hip flask.
The lid had come off it and a green liquid was leaking out onto the snow.
Figuring it to be some sort of alcohol and no doubt flammable, Sanchez held it
over the Santa and attempted to pour it onto the flames on his beard to ignite
them further before his victim could extinguish them. He timed it perfectly.
The Santa rolled over onto his back looking up at Sanchez just as he poured the
liquid onto his beard and the lower half of his face. The Santa’s eyes opened
wide in horror as some of the liquid slid into his mouth. The flames on his
beard had all but gone out but there was still a small cloud of black smoke
rising up from it causing him to cough and splutter.
    Sanchez put down the hip flask
and prepared himself to re-enact his favourite wrestling move, The Splash. He
launched himself up in the air and threw himself down onto the Santa like he’d
seen his favourite wrestler, Earthquake, do on television. Landing astride his
stricken victim, he flipped his Zippo lighter open again. The Santa was no
longer struggling or fighting back. He was simply laid out motionless on the
ground.
    Sanchez was busy congratulating
himself on the effectiveness of his Splash technique when something caught his
eye. Peering down at his stricken foe he noticed the green stains on his lips.
He remembered the stories of the child killer paralysing kids with a green
poisonous liquid. Could it be that this vampire was responsible for murdering a
load of defenceless kids? Well, now it was the vampire who was defenceless.
Time for some gloating and Schwarzenegger style pay off lines.
    ‘You should lay off that green
stuff, you look paralytic,’ he said. The Santa didn’t respond. He couldn’t. The
paralysis had kicked in already. His eyes said all Sanchez needed to know. He
was terrified of what was to come. For once, Sanchez was going to