The Charm School

distinguish one from the other.”
    “I see.”
    “Anyway, the idea is to just teach the basics. All exercise here is some sort of American or universal sport. But we’re limited because of your satellites. We play a little baseball, but if we had laid out a baseball diamond, your people would wonder what that was doing in the middle of Russia.” Burov smiled. “But now that it has been discovered that we invented baseball, we are beginning to perfect the game and I may build a court here.”
    “A diamond.”
    “Whatever.”
    Hollis said, “That must be particularly galling to you. The satellites.”
    “Oh, yes. And it hinders so many of our activities. So we retreated to the
bor,
like we did with the Tartars, Napoleon, Hitler, and the rest.” Burov looked up at the sky. “We all come here to this field now and then just to see the open expanse and feel the sun. You understand?”
    “Yes.”
    Burov nodded and said, “Come.” He led them across the field and spoke as he walked. “Now they are playing much soccer in America, so my students can excel at something over there if they have an athletic inclination. Incidentally, one of the best amateur soccer teams in northern New Jersey is coached by one of our graduates.”
    “Is that a fact? Do you know what becomes of all your students?”
    “Alas, no. They are turned over to Directorate S for infiltration into the States. You are familiar with D-S?”
    “Yes. A branch of the First Chief Directorate.”
    He glanced at Hollis as they walked. “But anyway, we get a few anecdotal stories back from Directorate S. It’s good for our morale.”
    Lisa asked, “What happens to the students who flunk out?”
    Burov didn’t reply for a while, then said, “Well, they’re asked to sign a statement swearing never to breathe a word of anything they’ve seen here. The same as in any other intelligence operation.”
    Lisa remarked, “I think you probably kill them.”
    “Come, come, Ms. Rhodes. Really.”
    They walked in silence across the field and entered the tree line by way of another path. The path ended at a small concrete structure that resembled a bunker, and they entered it. The bunker was completely bare, and Hollis wondered why they were there. Burov directed them to the middle of the steel-plate floor, then pressed a button on the wall and stood beside them. The center plate of the floor began sinking.
    They rode down a shaft for a few seconds, then stopped. Two sliding doors parted, and Burov showed them out into a smartly appointed room of chrome furniture and suede-covered walls. A young man sat at a countertop desk in the corner, wearing a T-shirt and reading a
New York Times.
Burov said to Hollis and Lisa, “Welcome to the Holiday Spa.”
    Hollis in fact smelled chlorine, and he noticed that steaminess peculiar to health clubs.
    The young man behind the counter put down his newspaper and said in cheery English, “Hello, Colonel. Who you got there?”
    “New members, Frank. Colonel Hollis and Ms. Rhodes.”
    “Great.” The young man put out his hand. “Frank Chapman. I read your obit last week, Colonel.”
    Hollis hesitated, then shook hands with him and said, “If you’re Frank Chapman, I’m Leo Tolstoy.”
    Chapman did not smile.
    Burov said to Chapman, “I’ll just show them around.”
    “Sure thing.”
    Burov led them through steamy glass doors into an anteroom. “Men’s locker there. Ladies’ over there. We don’t have many female students because we only have six female instructors. Maybe seven now.”
    Lisa said nothing.
    Burov said, “This place is our gem. It cost over a million rubles to build underground, and there’s a half million dollars’ worth of Western athletic equipment here. It’s boosted morale among students, instructors, and staff.”
    They followed Burov down a long corridor. Burov said, “Finnish saunas here, steam baths there, sunrooms, whirlpools. Here’s the workout room. Universal gym. Those two women are new students. They’re trying to get American figures like yours, Ms. Rhodes.” Burov smiled and watched the two Russian women sweating on stationary bicycles. Burov said, “We know that many important contacts are made in athletic clubs and that most successful Americans are involved in some sort of athletic pastime. Golf and tennis I know are the most important to the upper and ruling classes. But there is not a single golf course in all of Russia, so our students watch golf tournaments