The Game

that is playful and bright, and you chose that because you carry yourself with the same kind of energy. You are the kind of person who really likes to have fun and party, but you are also the kind of person who just enjoys being in other people’s company.
    PARIS: Yes.
    PAPA: And your cube is something that you can see right through. Now, that represents how people interact with you because you are the kind of person who even when people first meet you, they can see right through you. You really connect with people and that rocks.
    PARIS: What’s your name?
    PAPA: Papa. What’s your name?
    PARIS: Paris.
    PAPA: Rock on. I feel like we have so much to talk about.
    PARIS: Yes.
    PAPA: We should definitely party it up together sometime.
    PARIS: Yes. We should.
    PAPA: Here.

    I gave her a piece of paper and a pen. She wrote down her first and last name, and then handed it to me, expecting to impress me and get a wow response. But I didn’t give her any response, as if I had no idea who she was. Then I handed it back to her.

    PAPA: Here.
    PARIS: Okay. Write it down right here?
    PAPA: Yes.
    PARIS: This is my cell phone.
    PAPA: Cool.
    PARIS: Yeah. We should definitely meet up.
    PAPA: Yeah. Rock on. I’ll see ya, kid.

    I walked back to see the boys at the table outside.

    STYLE: Nice job, man. Nobody give Papa a high-five or acknowledge it, in case she sees it. Well done, bro.
    REAL ESTATE AGENT: High five, bro.

    I explained to the boys what happened. This rocks. I know that this is the way things are going to be. It just makes sense that I would roll with Paris Hilton when I am in Project Hollywood.
    Mystery, this is my set. So hands off when Paris comes by the crib to see Papa.

    Cheers,
Papa

Every word Papa told Paris Hilton had come from me: the jealous girlfriend opener, the C-shaped versus U-shaped-smiles routine. Even his delivery of the Cube was the exact same as what he’d recorded at his first workshop with Mystery and me, down to the way he said, “Interesting” and “Cool.” He was a great robot, and he had just outperformed his programmer.
    We walked back to the house to meet the owners and sign the paperwork. The former home of Dean Martin (and later the comedian Eddie Griffin), the Rat Pack crib was just above Mel’s Diner on Sunset Boulevard. It was $36,000 cheaper per month than the supermansion, and it was walking distance from the clubs on Sunset Boulevard.
    The living room looked like a ski lodge. There was a fireplace, a sunken dance floor, a thirty-foot-high ceiling, a massive wood-inlay wall mural, and a large bar in the corner. The space could easily hold a few hundred people for seminars and parties. There were two bedrooms off the living room on the ground floor. Outside each of these rooms was a staircase leading up to another bedroom. And then there was a small maid’s room off the kitchen.
    The crown jewel of the house was the multitiered backyard. On one level, there were two patios shaded by palm and lemon trees. On the second level, there was a large brick terrace with a peanut-shaped pool, a Jacuzzi, a dining area, and a working barbecue and refrigerator. Beyond it lay a landscaped hill with a path winding up to a small, secluded deck at the top of the property. From there, we could see the glittering lights and ten-story movie billboards of Hollywood. The place was a chick magnet. There was no way we could fail here.
    Papa put his name down on the lease. This, in addition to paying the larger of the rents, earned him the right to the master bedroom, which came equipped with a raised platform intended for a bed, picture windows, and a fireplace. The bathroom was decked out with a glass-encased circular shower, two walk-in closets, and a whirlpool bathtub built for three.
    The possibilities were limitless. Papa had visions of renting the house for after-Grammy parties, movie premieres, and corporate events. He nolonger sarged girls when he went out; instead he sarged promoters and celebrities, trying to make connections for Project Hollywood after-parties. He even used Speed Seduction and NLP tactics to try and hypnotize people into investing in the house.
    In his spare time, he made bids for tanning beds, movie projectors, pool tables, and stripper poles on eBay. He wanted to make Project Hollywood a place Paris Hilton would want to come every weekend to party.
    There were still two bedrooms that needed to be filled, so we issued a call for roommates on Mystery’s Lounge. The