The Game

feminine ideal. Hea, then, was a girl who other women ignored yet every man desired. We saw her potential.
    When Hea arrived, Herbal and I greeted her at the door with bloodshot eyes, unshaven faces, and dragging feet. The sleep diet was taking its toll. Our manners and maturity were the first to go. We brought her into Herbal’s room, sat her down on the floor, and played video games on the Xbox for an hour to keep ourselves awake.
    When the doorbell rang again, I trudged to answer it and found Isabel standing on the doorstep. “I was dancing with some friends at Barfly,” she said, nose a-wiggle. “So since I was in the neighborhood, I thought I’d drop by.”
    “You know I hate drop-bys.” I had always told my MLTRs to call beforecoming over, in case something like this happened. I sighed and let her in. It seemed rude to turn her away. “But good to see you, I guess.”
    I brought her into Herbal’s room and introduced everyone. Isabel sat on the floor next to Hea. Her intuition tingled. She looked Hea up and down, then asked, “So how do you know Style?”
    I had a feeling this wasn’t a casual visit but a sneak attack. So I left them alone in the room and went to find Mystery. I was too tired for drama. “Dude,” I said. “I’m screwed. Isabel and Hea are catfighting. How do I get rid of one of them?”
    “I’ve got a better idea,” he said. “You should threesome them.”
    “You’re joking.”
    “No. One of my students was telling me about a technique he once used to get a threesome started. You should try it. Just suggest an innocent three-way massage. See what happens.”
    “Sounds like a gamble.” I didn’t want another disaster, like the Porcelain TwinZ bathtub incident.
    “You’re not gambling. You’re taking a risk. Gambling is completely random; a risk is calculated. If two girls are at your house listening to you and giving you IOIs, the odds are in your favor that something will happen.”
    Mystery could be very persuasive. Throughout this whole pickup process, I’d been trying on clothes and behaviors I’d never thought were me. Some of them worked, so I kept them; others didn’t, so I discarded them. I decided to take a chance. I was willing to risk losing them.
    I dragged my feet back to Herbal’s room. “Hey, guys,” I told the girls between yawns. “I have to show you these home movies that Mystery and I made. They’re hilarious.” Inspired by our video of Carly and Caroline in Montreal, Mystery had started filming our trips and adventures, editing them into humorous ten-minute shorts.
    I brought them up to my room. I had no chairs there, of course, just a bed. So we all lay on the comforter while I showed them a video Mystery had made of our trip to Australia.
    As it ended, I steadied my nerves and took the risk. “I just experienced the most amazing thing,” I told the girls. “I went to San Diego and hung out with my friend Steve P., who’s a guru and a shaman. And he had two of his students perform what he called a dual-induction massage on me. Their hands were moving in perfect synchronization on my back. And because your conscious mind can’t process all those movements, it disconnects and you feel like there are thousands of hands massaging you. It was amazing.”
    If you describe anything with enthusiasm and congruence, people will want to try it—especially if you don’t give them the opportunity to say no.
    “Get on your stomach,” I told Isabel. Since she was the girl most likely to be jealous, I knew we’d need to massage her first. I kneeled on her right side and positioned Hea on the left, telling her to follow my movements exactly.
    When we finished kneading her back, I pulled off my shirt and lay on my stomach. The girls positioned themselves on either side of my back and began massaging me—tentatively at first, then with more confidence. As the two of them leaned over me, their hands tracing circles around my shoulder blades, I could feel the energy in the room begin to charge. The sexual nature of the situation was beginning to dawn on them, if it hadn’t already.
    This was quite possibly going to work.
    When it was Hea’s turn, she took off her shirt and lay on her stomach. This time I made the massage more erotic, rubbing her inner thigh and the sides of her breasts.
    After her massage, Hea remained on her stomach while Isabel and I kneeled over her. This was the deciding moment. I had to escalate.
    I was so nervous my hand