The Game

different from all those girls. People have more class here than they do in L.A.”
    The PUAs have a name for this: They call it one-itis. It’s a disease AFCs get: They become obsessed with a girl they’re neither dating nor sleeping with, and then start acting so needy and nervous around her that they end up driving her away. The cure for one-itis, PUAs like to say, is to go out and have sex with a dozen other girls—and then see if this flower is still so special.

The prop bag I wore to the Belgrade workshop was black, Armani, and the size of a hardcover novel, with a single shoulder strap so that it could be slung artfully across my torso. With so many magic tricks, gimmicks, and other tools of the trade necessary to use in the field, it was impossible to fit everything into just four pants pockets. So nearly every PUA in the game had a prop bag. The contents of mine were as follows:
1 PACK OF GUM, WRIGLEY’S BIG RED
    No matter how good your game is, you’re not going to get a kissclose if your breath reeks.

    1 PACK OF CONDOMS, TROJAN, LUBRICATED
    Necessary not only in case you have sex but also for the psychological boost of knowing you’re prepared to.

    1 PENCIL, 1 PEN
    For writing down phone numbers, taking notes, performing magic tricks, and analyzing handwriting.

    1 PIECE OF DRYER LINT
    For the lint opener: Walk up to a woman, stop, wordlessly remove lint (hidden in the palm of your hand) from her clothing, ask, “How long has that been there?,” then hand her the piece of lint.

    1 ENVELOPE OF PRESELECTED PHOTOS
    For Mystery’s photo routine.

    1 DIGITAL CAMERA
    For Mystery’s digital photo routine: First take a photo of yourself and a girl smiling, then another one striking a serious pose, and,finally, one kissing (on the cheek or lips). Afterward, look through the photos with her. At the final photo, say, “We make a good couple, don’t we?” If she agrees, you’re in.

    1 BOX OF TIC TACS
    For the Tic Tac routine: Put two Tic Tacs in your hand. Eat one very slowly. Then feed the second one to her. If she accepts it, say, “There’s something I forgot to tell you. I’m an Indian giver. I want my Tic Tac back.” Then kiss her.

    LIP BALM, COVERUP, EYELINER, BLOTTING PAPER
    Optional male makeup.

    CHEAT SHEET, THREE PAGES
    One page of favorite routines for quick reference. Two pages of new routines and lines to practice.

    1 SET OF WOODEN RUNES IN CLOTH BAG
    For rune readings.

    1 NOTEBOOK
    For phone numbers, notes, magic tricks, and Ross Jeffries’s crappy sketch artist opener, in which you very seriously draw a portrait of a girl, tell her “your beauty has inspired me to high art,” and then show her a stick figure with a title like, “Semipretty Girl in Coffee Shop, 2005.”

    1 KRYPTOLIGHT NECKLACE
    Glow in the dark necklace, for peacocking.

    2 SETS OF FAKE EAR AND LIP PIERCINGS
    Optional body adornment.

    1 SMALL DIGITAL RECORDER
    For surreptitiously recording sarges to play back and critique afterward.

    2 SPARE CHEAP NECKLACES, 2 SPARE THUMB RINGS
    To give to girls as gifts after a number-close. Ask, “You’re not a thief, are you?” Then slowly remove your necklace or thumb ring, put it on her, kiss her, and say, “This is still mine. It’s something to remember me by. I want it back next time I see you.” After she leaves, replace your jewelry with a spare from the bag.

    1 SMALL BLACKLIGHT
    For pointing out lint and dandruff on girls’ clothing—a neg.

    4 SAMPLE BOTTLES OF DIFFERENT COLOGNES
    For smelling good. And for the cologne opener: Spritz a different cologne on each wrist. Then have a girl smell your wrists and choose a favorite. Afterward, mark her choice on the appropriate wrist with a pen. Tally the results at the end of the night to find the best scent for yourself.

    VARIOUS MAGIC TRICKS
    For bending forks, making cigarettes vanish, and levitating beer bottles.
    Yes, I was bringing out the big guns. It was an important night—my first workshop as a wing—and I needed to prove myself.
    I had neglected to tell Mystery that his standard workshop fee was half the annual salary of the average Serbian, so most of our students were from out of the country. They met us at Ben Akiba, a lounge just off the central square in Belgrade. Exoticoption was an American who had taken a train from Florence, Italy, where he was going to school; Jerry was a ski instructor from Munich, Germany; and Sasha was a local who had been studying in Austria.
    Strangers size each