The Ghost and The Haunted Mansion: A Haunted Bookshop Mystery

you out. Now, are you ready to give us some background on your alleged haunted house?”
    Seymour nodded. “Ask me anything you like.”
    “Is this the aforementioned infested residence?” Kenny pointed his pen through the front doors.
    “Yep. Want to come in?”
    “Ah . . .” Peering past us into the foyer, Kenny scratched his temple with the pen tip. “To tell you the truth, confronting entities alone is not my area of expertise. I prefer to have a crew with me whenever I cross the threshold of a suspicious domicile.”
    What a worm! Jack snorted. You want me to scare this goomer into next week?
    “No!” I silently whispered. “And will you please go away! Ophelia saw you. What do you think would happen if this guy did, too?”
    I don’t know. Why don’t we find out . . .
    “No, Jack!”
    But my stubborn ghost was on a mission. His mildly breezy presence began to whip up a furious chill. I rubbed my arms, my gaze fixed on Kenny Vorzon, whose attention remained on his clipboard.
    “How has the spiritual presence manifested itself since you’ve been here, Mr. Tarnish?”
    “Well . . .”
    As Seymour crossed his heavy arms, thinking it over, Jack’s chill became downright arctic. Kenny actually began to shiver. “Sure is cold tonight for summer, isn’t it?”
    “I guess so,” Seymour said. “As for the spirit world manifesting, I haven’t seen or heard anything yet. But my friend Penelope Thornton-McClure here found a cold spot in the salon.”
    Kenny nodded and scribbled vigorously. “Cold spots are good.”
    “It’s gone now. Like it was never there,” I added quickly. The man frowned. I could feel Jack’s cold presence flowing more energetically around me and right toward Kenny.
    He reached up and closed his collar. “Brrrr!”
    “It is getting chilly tonight,” Seymour said, glancing at the night sky. “No storm clouds. Must be a front coming down from Canada.”
    “So what leads you to believe the property is haunted?” the Spirit Zapper asked, reading from the canned question sheet.
    “Well, by reputation, mostly,” Seymour said. “And the fact that a number of people believe the woman who lived here before me may have been frightened to death.”
    “Frightened to death!” Kenny’s sleepy eyes suddenly woke up. “The network will love that!”
    “The medical examiner didn’t rule that,” I warned. “He said she died of natural causes.”
    “Doesn’t matter. We can challenge the local medical examiner’s opinion, cast doubt on his findings. We can bring in our own experts, too.”
    “Wow,” said Seymour.
    “Next question,” said Kenny, his voice more animated.
    For the next ten minutes, Kenny went down his list, asking Seymour about strange noises, electronic voice phenomenon, mysterious movement of objects, and ectoplasmic manifestations. I got the distinct impression that Seymour’s answers were starting to disappoint the newly enlivened Spirit Zapper, which was fine with me. I certainly didn’t want the “entity eliminators” anywhere near Quindicott, my bookshop, or my ghost.
    Aw, baby, you that sweet on me?
    “Shut up,” I told Jack. “And will you cut the refrigerator act. You’re drawing attention to yourself!”
    “One last question, Mr. Tarnish.”
    “Hit me.”
    “Have you noticed any increase in pest problems. Rats? Mice? Ants? Termites? Swarms of bees on the property? Even trouble from bats, birds, squirrels, or raccoons? Think hard before you answer.”
    “I haven’t done an inspection of the property yet. I’ve only just moved in.” He leaned forward, lowered his voice. “Are these things indications of supernatural activity?”
    “Nah!” Kenny waved his hand. “By day we’re exterminators—you know, the regular bug kind—and we want you to know we can handle any pest problems while investigating your alleged haunting.”
    “Oh.”
    “Be sure to keep Spirit Zappers in mind for all your pest-control needs! Here—” He handed over a business card. “In the meantime, our exec producer will review these notes and someone will get back to you.”
    “Great,” Seymour said. “How soon?”
    “A couple weeks. Then we’ll begin the vetting process, and our lawyers will contact you to sign the releases and waivers—”
    “Waivers?”
    “Sure,” Kenny said. “Spirit Zappers needs permission to bring in digital cameras, recorders, temperature gauges, EVP and volt monitors, ultraviolet and infrared lights, electromagnetic