The House of Seven Mabels

make Jane sound butch enough.“

Eleven

    Apparently Shelley hadn’t needed backup and wasn’t angry with Jane for running off.
    “So how did it go?“ Jane screwed up the courage to ask.
    “Wonderfully,“ Shelley said. “I showed Bitsy the errors and conditions of the contract. She started apologizing, saying she shouldn’t have turned that over to Sandra to do. Bitsy said she didn’t know much about contracts, but at least she did know good English from bad. She was truly indignant about the grammatical errors and misplaced apostrophes.“
    “And then?“ Jane prodded.
    “I showed her the house plans,“ Shelley said. “I was surprised that she realized for the first time without my even saying it that there was no indication of who had done them. Then she asked who’d penciled those other numbers in for the dimensions. I told her it was I. And didn’t she remember how annoyingly thorough we were when we took the exact measurements?“
    Shelley couldn’t have looked more pleased if she’d singlehandedly conquered a whole country.
    “I presume you suggested that she fire Sandra?“
    Shelley grabbed Jane’s hands as if they were girls. “I didn’t even get the chance. Can you believe it? She said straight out that Sandra would be gone by tomorrow.“
    “And how is this job to proceed?“ Jane asked. “Bitsy doesn’t know enough to be a contractor.“
    “She said she’d consulted someone else first. A man, though. Sandra heard about it at one of their empowerment meetings.“
    “Empowerment meetings?“ Jane exclaimed.
    “You don’t want to know,“ Shelley assured her, releasing Jane’s hands as she spoke. “Anyway, Sandra knew about her considering this man, someone named Joe, and said a lot of bad things about him. So Sandra drags Bitsy aside for dinner after the empowerment meeting and does her own cheerleading. Talks about all her own credentials, which may or may not have been true, according to Bitsy.“
    “She didn’t even check them out?“ Jane asked.
    “She checked one thing and it was wrong because the college Sandra said she graduated from had no record of her. Bitsy even gave them her married name and they still came up blank, but she put it down to a fouled-up computer program at the college. Bitsy said she got so busy with the plans that she forgot to go back and check any more of the references.“
    Jane plunged her fingers into her hair in pure frustration at Bitsy’s naïveté. “I can’t believe it!“
    “Quit interrupting or I’ll lose the thread. Sandy gave her the feminist pitch. It must have turned Bitsy’s brains to mush. It was odd, though. Bitsy repeated some of what Sandra said.“
    “Like what?“
    “The domestic angle, apparently. How no matter what the law said, Sandy told her, homes were always women’s. They set the schedule, made the meals, hired what help they needed, raised the children, knew instinctively when the dishwasher was making a noise it shouldn’t, so the best people to restore the house would be women.
    “She surely knew how to play on Bitsy. I could almost sympathize with her for falling for that. But it’s so inconsistent with what I believe Sandra really thinks. Isn’t that exactly what the far left fringe of feminism wants to get away from? I’d guess that she’s never even run a dishwasher because it’s a girly thing. Not the least empowering.“
    Now that Shelley had outlined the gist of the conversation, she returned, as Jane had feared, to another matter. “And just where were you when I was pointing this all out to her?“
    “At a patent lawyer’s office with Evaline.“
    Shelley’s jaw dropped. “What?“
    “She’s applying for a patent for her gunk she uses on the Sheetrock. She said she had no close friends to go with her as a witness and since you were obviously busy, would I come along? It was really sort of touching. How could I have turned down a plea like that?“
    “I’ll accept this. Marginally,“ Shelley said.
    “And we’re going to have a beer with her after work.“
    “What kind of bar? Not one of those peculiar ones, I hope. Bald women bikers with pierced parts?“
    “No, it’s that neighborhood place that serves barbecue.“
    They were early, and Jane mentioned that Eva-line would most likely want to thank Jane herself by buying the first round of drinks.
    “We’re not having beer, are we? I have to stagger home and cook dinner,“ Shelley said.
    “I think any drink is fine,“