The Land od the Rising Yen

CHINESE?
     
    Japanese-Chinese relations form two
sides of a triangle, America being the third. America is in need of a Far
Eastern protégé. Mao’s China has ceased to act in that capacity and Japan has had to replace it. The United States is responsible for Japan’s defence and there are some spots on which great powers are more sensitive than on
others. That Japan — the new blue-eyed boy of the Orient — should recognize China, the prodigal son, a really bad hat, is out of the question. But Japan wants to trade with China. What a dilemma! Only Japanese ingenuity could solve it: Japan does not recognize China (she recognizes Taiwan) but trades with everyone: China, Taiwan and the Soviet Union.
    Trade with China is a little less
roaring than it once was. The complete disappearance of a Japanese journalist
in China strained relations; then the Japanese were taken aback by the peculiar
spectacle of the Red Guards Cultural Revolution. And, of course, the Chinese
are suspicious of Japan: the crimes of the thirties are not easily forgotten.
The Japanese understand the oriental mind better than any of us but they are
still puzzled by paranoia. They failed to understand that the so-called
Cultural Revolution was a manoeuvre of internal politics. In Holland, and even
in Japan, the whole thing would have boiled down to new general elections. Even
in Nazi Germany a plebiscite with ninety-nine point eight per cent of votes for
the government would have done. But techniques improve and Mao wanted to prove
to the world that China could produce a new invention or two. The Cultural
Revolution in his eyes was a plebiscite which answered a hundred-percent ‘yes’.
    But Chinese-Japanese relations go
back, of course, a long time before the discovery of America. In the seventh
century the Japanese, under Fujiwara Kamatari, were already imitating the T’ang
Empire; they took over China’s ideograms, their ways of life and as much of
Chinese culture as they could. The Chinese are very contemptuous about the
Japanese: ‘They learned everything from us,’ they say. The Japanese are equally
contemptuous about the Chinese: ‘They have learnt nothing since the seventh
century.’ Mutual contempt has always been a good, reliable basis for
friendship, particularly when — as in this case — it covers a great deal of
mutual admiration and envy. The Chinese admire Japan’s prosperity and advanced
industries; while the Japanese throw covetous glances across the sea and are
keenly desirous to have the things China has in abundance but which they lack
completely: political power and influence.
     
     
    HOW FRENCH?
     
    A friend of mine ran a small but
excellent restaurant near Knightsbridge. One evening a distinguished-looking
couple came in and before ordering their meal they enquired where the loo was.
The lady was sent behind a small screen at the corner of the restaurant; the
gentleman, to his astonishment, was told to follow her. When he returned, he
commented: ‘If your food is as French as your lavatory, yours must be the best
restaurant in London.’
    In this respect French influence is
even stronger in Japan.
    In a Japanese-style restaurant in Tokyo I asked a friend where the Gentlemen’s was. He pointed to a little door which I
entered. I found two other men standing side by side and engaged in the activity
for the sake of which one, as a rule, visits such establishments. Suddenly a
door opened and a young, elegant and beautiful lady came out. I was a little
taken aback but she was not. Without even looking at the three of us, she
washed her hands and walked out quite unconcerned. While I was washing my hands
another lady walked in and, paying no attention to the busy men, walked into
the cubicle.
    ‘I say,’ I reproached my Japanese
friend on my return to the table, ‘I asked you where the Gentlemen’s was.’
    ‘You did,’ he nodded, ‘and I showed
it to you.’
    ‘It wasn’t the Gentlemen’s. It was
the Ladies!’
    ‘Oh that...’ he said with a superior
smile, implying: ‘how stupid can the gaijin get?’ — ‘Well, it is Ladies’ and Gentlemen’s.’
    I presume San was written upon
the door in Japanese. San which — as the reader no doubt remembers —
means Mr, Mrs and Miss.

2. THE WAY THEY LIVE
     

KANJI
AND KANA
     
    Japanese , unlike many oriental languages
(Chinese among them) is not a tonal language. You keep hearing stories about a
beautiful well-bred lady, trying to speak a tonal language