The Last Concubine

away from him, because she knew how it felt to feel lost and unsure. How ironic would it be to have miraculously found Hüi ready to embrace her despite her deficiencies, only to then be cast out by his outraged wives.
    She was used to keeping her own secret, but now that she was responsible for keeping Hüi’s as well, it made her timid in their gatherings. Lan’xiu had gained the reputation of being a shy, quiet girl, even though she would have loved to chatter and giggle with the rest of them, discussing clothing, cosmetics, and possibly even foolish little secrets about how to please their husband.
    Only Ning could steel her to face her sister wives, although she often told him she went only to get away from his constant ragging.
    Lan’xiu had taken to wearing her plainest robes when she went to consort with the others, hoping to downplay her looks so as not to excite their envy or attention. Her excuse was that she loved playing with the children. Being a modest girl, she could not know that nothing could make her look ugly; in fact, the plain hanfu of amber silk she wore today only emphasized the burnished satin of her skin.
    As usual, Mei Ju called out to her in welcome when Lan’xiu entered her home. “Come here, Lan’xiu, sit by me and tell me what you think of the new dress I had made.”
    Lan’xiu gave one of her rare but lovely smiles. “You look very smart, First Wife. That rose is a pretty color for you.” It was, but the cheongsam was so over-embellished and ornamented that it made Mei Ju look rather unfortunately wide.
    “Look at what my husband gave to me,” Mei Ju said, holding out her chubby wrist.
    “It is very beautiful,” Lan’xiu said, dutifully admiring the bracelet with a little sigh. She was wearing her only pair of earrings, as usual, and her plain jade bracelet. She had put away the ring that belonged to her mother, not caring to hear Ci’an’s comments on it.
    The new bracelet was made of curved pieces of jade in varying shades of green, rose, and white linked together with silver good luck charms between them. Mei Ju looked at the bracelet and stroked a finger over one of the pieces of jade. “Hüi has given me many things, but I value this bracelet above all others. See, there is a charm here for each of the children I have borne him.”
    Her words stabbed Lan’xiu in the heart like a knife, for she would never bear her lord any children, and her barrenness would be held against her—and him. Now it was her turn to be disappointed that Hüi had not come to her again, but a lady did not visit her own disappointments upon another, especially the woman who had been so kind to her.
    “Your husband has great love for you, Mei Ju, that is clear. It is a beautiful bracelet and a beautiful sentiment.”
    Mei Ju touched Lan’xiu’s sleeve. “Thank you, my dear, I know—” But her words, whatever they were, were destined to remain unspoken when the third, fourth, and sixth wives came in together.
    Lan’xiu rose and bowed, remaining standing as befitted her lowest rank, while Mei Ju stayed seated to receive the other ladies, all of whom kissed her hand and bowed. Lan’xiu was pushed aside as Fifth Wife Bai bounced into the room with her usual merry smile.
    “Oh, am I late? I am late, aren’t I?” She gave a high-pitched laugh. “I am always late!”
    “But you always bring the sunshine with you, my dear,” Mei Ju said, with an answering smile.
    The words gave Lan’xiu a pang; Mei Ju was always kind to her, but she was not amusing like Bai, or good-natured like Alute, or contented like Fen and Huan. She was conscious that guarding her secret had consumed her to the point that she offered the other wives little in return for their friendship, however shallow it might be. So anxious not to offend, she had become little more than wallpaper, attractive but not precisely scintillating.
    Isolation had bound the wives of the household together into a unit, however uneasy, and she was the odd one out, just as much as Ci’an was, despite their efforts to include her. As Lan’xiu was resolving to try to exert herself a bit more to make herself agreeable, a silence fell over the chattering women. She looked up from her reverie as they all turned to face the doorway.
    It was Second Wife Ci’an, whose preferred manner of arrival seemed to be coming late and sneaking in to eavesdrop.
    Her hands were hidden in her sleeves when she entered and her lips curled sarcastically.