The Long Hard Road Out of Hell

B-movie girl at a theater and she puts her hand on his leg. At the same time Jenna put her hand on my leg, which completely freaked me out because the part that Traci Lords was originally supposed to play in the film was that B-movie actress.
    Jenna’s hand slowly started to creep up toward my crotch, and, since I wasn’t on coke, I had a hard-on. I probably could have gotten one anyways because she had some sort of magical touch to her fingertips. After the film, we rode to the Whiskey Bar in my limo. She had a friend with her that nobody wanted to talk to because she wasn’t a porn star and the fact that she wasn’t wearing a yellow dress didn’t help her from not being as attractive as Jenna. Maybe Jenna had worn the yellow dress out of friendship, like a golfing handicap, to diminish her powers.
    At the bar, we sat between Billy Corgan and Rick Rubin. Somehow Jenna had my jacket on her lap, and she put my hand up her skirt to show me that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. So I was sitting there with my hand inside her trying to convince Billy Corgan, on my left, that if he wore a yellow shirt with a black zigzag across it he would be Charlie Brown. But I was so drunk and high that Rick Rubin’s beard seemed like a cloud, covering the whole room. Everybody had his beard. I looked around and Jenna had the beard, I felt the beard under her skirt, all of a sudden Billy Corgan had a full head of hair made out of Rick Rubin’s beard. ZZ Top showed up in the Eliminator car and a bunch of hot girls got out. They were all people I had fucked and they all had beards. I got stressed out, and I was having a bit of an episode, and I didn’t know where my finger was. When I removed it I was too scared to look at it or smell it because if it was good, I would want to make Billy smell it, and if it was bad, I didn’t want it to ruin the pleasant evening I was anticipating. So I just avoided it altogether, sitting on my hand so the smell wouldn’t waft.
    Back in the limo, I asked if she wanted to go back to my room. But she said she had someone waiting for her at her hotel. Then she had some kind of secret dialogue with her friend in Urdu or old Dutch or sign language or hieroglyphics. What I discovered through my years of linguistic and archeological research into women’s codes was that she was married and her husband was waiting for her, which was fantastic and made me want her more. So she came back with me, of course, and I recalled from the film that the character who was supposed to be played by Traci Lords made Howard Stern get in the bathtub with her. So I thought, “Why not?” The only other thing I can remember from that night is that she had a tattoo on her ass that said, “Heartbreaker.” But then again, everyone in America who has ever watched any of her films knows that, so maybe it was all a dream. But if it was a dream, it was a wet one.
    Â Â Â Â Â  MARCH 11, 1997, JAPAN
    I feel like someone I wouldn’t let my own daughter fuck, and I feel like someone who, if I was that daughter, I would want to fuck more than anyone else.
    Â Â Â Â Â  UNDATED
    I’m so fucking sick of people saying we have T-shirts that say, “Kill your parents and kill a dog.” What the T-shirt actually says is, “Warning: The music of Marilyn Manson may contain messages that will KILL GOD in your impressionable teenage minds. As a result, you could be convinced to KILL YOUR MOM & DAD and eventually in a hopeless act of suicidal ‘rock and roll’ behavior you will KILL YOURSELF. So please burn your records while there’s still hope.” Can’t they see I’m trying to help them. I’ve said a million times that if more stupid people killed themselves over stupid songs, there would be less stupid people in the world. I haven’t even sold that shirt in four years. Besides, T-shirts and music people don’t kill people. Poor upbringing does. If someone wants to blame art, why are kids taught to read Romeo and Juliet in school? Here’s a story about kids killing each other for one very important reason: their parents didn’t understand them.

    *M ARILYN M ANSON WILL COMMIT SUICIDE ON HIS H ALLOWEEN CONCERT BY
BLOWING UP THE VENUE AND EVERYONE IN IT .
*M ARILYN M ANSON HAD THREE RIBS REMOVED SO HE CAN SUCK HIS OWN DICK
*I HEARD THAT HE GIVES HIMSELF A BLOW JOB ON STAGE AND SPITS
THE CUM OUT ON THE CROWD