The Longest Ride

desperation. She could feel his heart beating, could feel the strong muscles in his chest. “I don’t want you to do this. You can’t do this, okay? Please tell me that you’re finished with all this. We’ll figure some other way to save the ranch, okay?”

“There is no other way.”

“There’s always another way —”

“No,” he said, “there isn’t.”

“Luke, I know the ranch is important, but it’s not more important than your life. You know that, right? You’ll start over. You’ll get another ranch. Or you’ll work on a ranch —”

“I don’t need the ranch,” he broke in. “I’m doing this for my mom.”

She pushed away from him, feeling a swell of anger. “But she doesn’t want you to do this either! Because she knows it’s wrong – she knows how stupid it is! Because you’re her son!”

“I’m doing it for her —”

“No, you’re not!” Sophia interrupted. “You’re doing it so that you won’t have to feel guilty! You think you’re being noble, but you’re really being selfish! This is the most selfish thing —” She broke off, her chest heaving.

“Sophia…”

“Don’t touch me!” she cried. “You’re going to hurt me, too! Don’t you get that? Did you ever stop for one minute to think that I might not want you to die? Or how it would make me feel? No, because it’s not about me! Or your mom! This is all about you – and how you’ll feel!”

She took a step backward. “And to think you lied about it…,” she whispered.

“I didn’t lie…”

“A lie of omission,” she said, her voice bitter. “You lied because you knew I wouldn’t agree with you! That I might walk away from someone who was willing to do something so… wrong. And why? Because you wanted to sleep with me? Because you wanted to have a good time?”

“No…” Luke’s protest sounded weak to her ears.

She could feel hot tears spilling down her cheeks, beyond her control. “I… just can’t handle this right now. Not this, too. It was a terrible week, all the girls talking and Marcia avoiding me… I needed you this week. I needed someone to talk to. But I understood that you needed to ride. I accepted it because it was your job. But now? Knowing that the only reason you were gone was because you were off trying to kill yourself?”

The words came out in a rush, almost as fast as her mind was racing, and she turned, reaching over and grabbing her purse. She couldn’t be here. Not with him. Not now… “I can’t take this…”

“Wait!”

“Don’t talk to me!” she said. “I don’t want to hear you try to explain why it’s so important for you to die —”

“I’m not going to die.”

“Yes, you are! I may not have been around long enough to know, but your mom has! And the doctors have! And you know what you’re doing is wrong…” Her breaths were coming fast. “When you come to your senses, then we can talk. But until then…”

She didn’t finish. Instead, flinging her purse over her shoulder, she stormed out of the house and ran to her car. After throwing it in gear, she almost backed into the porch as she turned it around and hit the accelerator hard, barely able to see through the blur of her tears.
     

     
    Sophia was numb.

Luke had called twice since she returned to the sorority house, but she didn’t answer. She sat in the room, alone, knowing that Marcia was with Brian but somehow missing her nonetheless. Since their argument, Marcia had spent every night at Brian’s, but Sophia suspected it had less to do with Brian than the fact that Marcia felt too ashamed to face her.

She was still angry with Marcia – what she’d done was pretty crappy, and Sophia couldn’t simply pretend it didn’t bother her. A best friend didn’t start dating an ex. Call it a cardinal rule or whatever, but friends just didn’t do that to each other. Ever. But even though part of Sophia thought she should have told Marcia that their friendship was over, she hadn’t been able to say the words, because in her heart she knew that Marcia hadn’t done it on purpose. She hadn’t schemed or plotted or purposely tried to hurt her. Marcia just wasn’t wired that way, and Sophia knew firsthand how charming Brian could be when he put his mind to it. Which, she suspected, he probably had. Because Brian was wired that way. Brian had known exactly what he was doing, and she had no doubt that dating Marcia was his way of trying to get back at her. He wanted to