The Lost Boy

you how … it’s so good to see
you!”
    Lilian sandwiched my hands between hers. “Sit down now and listen. We have a lot to talk about, so pay attention. David, has your father come to see you yet?”
    “Yes, ma’am, ” I replied.
    “If you don’t mind my asking, what did you two talk about?”
    I leaned back in my seat, trying to visualize the entire scene so that I could repeat word for word my visit with Father.
    “Did your father mention anything about a paper … ? Anything at all?” Lilian gently prodded.
    “Uhm … no. No, ma’am, not that I remember, ” I said, scratching my head.
    Lilian tightened her grip on my hands until it was so hard they hurt. “David, please, ” she begged, “this is important.”
    In a flash I recalled Father’s frustration about a set of papers Mother wanted him to sign. I carefully attempted to reconstruct Father’s words. “He said something about Mother being right and that he was thinking of signing papers saying that I was …
in-carriage-able?”
    “
But he didn’t sign them?!” Lilian burst.
    “I don’t … I don’t know …” I stuttered.
    “Damn it!” she barked. I lowered my head, thinking I did something wrong – again. Lilian looked away from the gray table, then at me. “No! No! It’s not you, David. It’s just … have you heard from your mother? Has she come to see you?”
    “No, ma’am!” I stated, shaking my head.
    “Listen carefully, David. You do not have to receive a visit from anybody you do not want to see. Do you understand? This is important. When you’re told you have a visitor, ask who that person is.” Lilian stopped to collect herself. She seemed on the verge of tears. “Honey, I’m not supposed to tell you this, but … don’t accept a visit from your mother. She’s fighting the county to have you put away.”
    “You mean like to stay here? An institution, right? Oh, I know all about that. It’s okay!”
    Lilian’s face turned snow white. “Where did you hear that?”
    “A lady from mental health. She says she works with all the young kids who come here to The Hill. She kept asking me about consent … Yes!” I shrieked. “That’s it! The lady said it would be a lot easier for me if I gave my consent for the institution.” I knew by Lilian’s expression that something was horribly wrong. “Doesn’t it mean that by me signing the paper, that I promise, I
consent,
to be on my best behavior while I’m here? Does it, Mrs C?”
    “David, it’s a trap! She’s trying to trick you!” Lilian said with panic in her voice. “Listen to me! I’m going to spell it out for you: Your mother is claiming that your past behavior at her house
warranted
her to
discipline
you because you were so incorrigible. She’s trying to have you put away in a mental institution!” Lilian exhaled.
    I leaned back in my steel chair and stared at her. “You … ah … mean … a crazy home … don’t you?” I stuttered as my breathing accelerated.
    Lilian plucked a tissue from her purse. “I could lose my license as a foster parent, but I don’t give … I don’t care anymore. You can never, ever, repeat this to anyone. I’ve spoken with Ms Gold, and we think your mother has somehow cooked up this plan – this institution thing – to somehow validate everything she’s ever done to you. Do you understand?”
    I nodded yes.
    “David, your mother has contacted this lady from mental health and has told her all sorts of things. David, I’m going to ask you a question and I need the absolute truth, okay? Did you ever start a fire at your mother’s house,
in the garage of her house?”
Lilian carefully asked.
    “No!” I exclaimed. I then curled my fingers into the palms of my hands. “Once …”
    Lilian gritted her teeth as I continued.
    “... once, when I was four or five, I set the napkins by the candles before dinner … and they caught on fire! I swear, cross my heart, I didn’t mean to, Mrs Catanze! It was an accident!”
    “Okay, all right, ” Lilian said, as she waved her hands. “I believe you. But David, she knows. Your mother knows everything. From Walgreens, to running away – even the problem you had with the psychiatrist. Ms Gold thinks she may have slipped up and told your mother more than she needed to know, but Ms Gold is required to keep your mother informed about you. Damn it all! I’ve never seen anyone fight so hard to have their own flesh and blood …”
    My body temperature shot up.