The Lost Boy

“What do you mean, the problem with the doctor? I didn’t do anything!”
    “Now, I’m getting this secondhand from Ms Gold …”
    “How come I’m not allowed to see Ms Gold anymore?” I interrupted.
    “Because you have a probation officer now: Gordon Hutchenson, ” Lilian replied, as she shook her head, trying to remain on track. “Now please, listen. I’m not even supposed to know this, but from what I understand, the psychiatrist wrote a report claiming that you have violent behavior tendencies. He’s claiming something about you jumping from your seat, waving your arms and nearly attacking him?” she said, looking more confused than her question sounded.
    My head swiveled from side to side. “No, ma’am! He told me I should hate my mother, remember?” I cried as I flung my head backward, hitting the wall. “What’s happening? I don’t understand? I didn’t do it! I didn’t do anything!”
    “Listen! Listen to me!” Lilian cried. “Ms Gold thinks your mother’s been waiting for you to screw up – and now she has you.”
    “How can she? I live with you!” I said pleadingly, as I fought to understand how my world could suddenly crumble.
    “David, ” Lilian said with a huff, “Rudy and I are just your legal guardians, that’s all. A piece of paper states that we maintain your well-being. We foster you. Legally, your mother has quite a bit of latitude. This is her way of striking back. Your mother has probably been fighting to put you away ever since you were placed in foster care, and this school incident makes her case.”
    “So now what?” I whimpered.
    “Understand this. You’re in for the fight of your life. If your mother can convince the county that it’s in their best interest, she’ll have them put you in a mental institution. If that ever happens …” Lilian’s face suddenly erupted in a fury of tears. “I want you to know this. I don’t care what anybody,
anybody,
tells you. Rudy and I are fighting for you, and we’ll do whatever it takes. If we have to hire a lawyer, we’ll do it. If we have to go to hell and back, we’re prepared to do that, too. We’re here to fight for you.
That’s why we’re foster parents!”
    Lilian stopped for a moment to collect her thoughts. She then began in a low, calm voice. “David, I don’t know why it is, but for some reason a great deal of individuals look down on foster care. And these people believe that you children are all bad, otherwise you wouldn’t be in foster care. And if they can keep
you
out of
their
society, well, the better for them. You understand, don’t you?”
    I shook my head no.
    Lilian raised a finger to her lips while rethinking her statement. “You know what the word
prejudice
means, don’t you?”
    “Yes, ma’am.”
    “It’s the same thing. You see, if these same people acknowledge – admit – a need for foster care, that means they are admitting to a bigger problem of what got you kids into foster care in the first place. And that means admitting to things like alcoholism, child abuse, children who run away or get into drugs … You get it? We’ve made a lot of changes in the last few years, but we still live in a closed society. A lot of folks were raised to keep things to themselves, hoping no one ever finds out about their
family secret.
Some of them are prejudiced, and that’s why whenever a foster child gets in trouble …”
    Her statement hit me like a ton of bricks. Now I understood. The bands around my chest seemed to come alive as I began to wheeze. “Uhm … before … when I first came to your house … and I got into trouble …”
    “Yes?” Lilian whispered.
    “I heard what you said back then … but I just didn’t listen.”
    Lilian cupped my hands in hers. “Well, all that’s in the past. I know that being here at The Hill isn’t easy, especially for you, but you have to be on your absolute best behavior. I mean that, ” she emphasized. “The counselors write behavior reports on you that are turned in to your probation officer. You’ve met Gordon Hutchenson, haven’t you?”
    “Yes, ma’am, ” I replied.
    “Those reports will have a strong impact against your mother trying to place you in an institution. All she has right now is a pack of lies she’s been feeding everyone. Your mother has made you out to be some crazed child – which you are, of course!” Lilian joked. “So if we can prove to the court that you did not set the fire and that you’ve