The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove

body of Bess Leander with a shudder. "Which is it?" Hippocrates sat on his Post-its, saying nothing. Was Bess Leander's death her fault? If she had talked to Bess instead of put her on antidepressants, would that have saved her? It was possible, and it was also possible that if she kept to her policy of a "pill for every problem," someone else was going to die. She couldn't risk it. If using talk therapy instead of drugs could save one life, it was worth a try.
    Val grabbed the phone and hit the speed dial button that connected her to the town's only pharmacy, Pine Cove Drug and Gift.
    One of the clerks answered. Val asked to speak to Winston Krauss, the pharmacist. Winston was one of her patients. He was fifty-three, unmarried, and eighty pounds overweight. His holy secret, which he shared with Val during a session, was that he had an unnatural sexual fascination with marine mammals, dolphins in particular. He'd confessed that he'd never been able to watch "Flipper" without getting an erection and that he'd watched so many Jacques Cousteau specials that a French accent made him break into a sweat. He kept an anatomically correct inflatable porpoise, which he violated nightly in his bathtub. Val had cured him of wearing a scuba mask and snorkel around the house, so gradually the red gasket ring around his face had cleared up, but he still did the dolphin nightly and confessed it to her once a month.
    "Winston, Val Riordan here. I need a favor."
    "Sure, Dr. Val, you need me to deliver something to Molly? I heard she went off in the Slug this morning." Gossip surpassed the speed of light in Pine Cove.
    "No, Winston, you know that company that carries all the look-alike placebos? We used them in college. I need you to order look-alikes for all the antidepressants I prescribe: Prozac, Zoloft, Serzone, Effexor, the whole bunch, all the dosages.Order in quantity."
    "I don't get it, Val, what for?"
    Val cleared her throat. "I want you to fill all of my prescriptions with the placebos."
    "You're kidding."
    "I'm not kidding, Winston. As of today, I don't want a single one of my patients getting the real thing.
    Not one."
    "Are you doing some sort of experiment? Control group or something?"
    "Somethinglike that."
    "And you want me to charge them the normal price?"
    "Of course.Our usual arrangement."Val got a twenty percent kickback from the pharmacy. She was going to be working a lot harder, she deserved to get paid.
    Winston paused. She could hear him going through the glass door into the back of the pharmacy.
    Finally he said, "I can't do that Val. That's unethical. I could lose my license, go to jail."
    Val had really hoped it wouldn't come to this. "Winston, you'll do it. You'll do it or the Pine Cove
    Gazette will run a front-page story about you being a fish-fucker."
    "That's illegal. You can't divulge something I told you in therapy."
    "Quit telling me what's illegal, Winston. I'm married to a lawyer."
    "I'd really rather notdo this, Val. Can't you send them down to the Thrifty Mart in San Junipero? I could say that I can't get the pills anymore.
    "That wouldn't work, would it, Winston? The people at the Thrifty Mart don't have your little problem."
    "You're going to have some withdrawal reactions. How are you going to explain that?"
    "Let me worry about that. I'm quadrupling my sessions. I want to see these people get better, not mask their problems."
    "This is about Bess Leander's suicide, isn't it?"
    "I'm not going to lose another one, Winston."
    "Antidepressants don't increase the incidence of suicide or violence. Eli Lilly proved that in court."
    "Yes and O.J. walked. Court is one thing,Winston, the reality of losing a patient is another. I'm taking charge of my practice. Now order the pills. I'm sure the profit margin is going to be quite a bit higher on sugar pills than it is on Prozac."
    "I could go to theFlorida Keys. There's a place down there where they let you swim with bottlenose dolphins."
    "You can't go, Winston. You can't miss your therapy sessions. I want to see you at least once a week."
    "You bitch."
    "I'm trying to do the right thing. What day is good for you?"
    "I'll call you back."
    "Don't push me, Winston."
    "I have to make this order," he said. Then, after a second, he said, "Dr. Val?"
    "What?"
    "Do I have to go off the Serzone?"
    "We'll talk about it in therapy." She hung up and pulled a Post-it out of Hippocrates' chest.
    "Now if I keep this oath, and break it not, may I enjoy honor, in my life