The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove

They did it a hundred and seventeen times."
    "In an hour?Rats can do that?"
    "They can, but they don't."
    "But you said they did."
    "It's an anomaly. But all three pairs were doing it. One of the females had died and the male was still going at her when I found them."
    Theo's face was becoming strained with the effort of trying to figure out what in the hell Gabe was trying to tell him, and why he was telling him in the first place. "What does that mean?"
    "I have no idea," Gabe said. "I don't know why there was a mass evacuation of the large group, and I don't know why the smaller group stayed in one place copulating."
    "Well, thanks for sharing."
    "Food and sex," Gabe said.
    "Maybe you should eat something, Gabe." Theo signaled for the waitress.
    "What do youmean, food and sex?" Val asked.
    "All behavior is related to obtaining food and sex," Gabe said.
    "How Freudian."
    "No, Darwinian, actually."
    Val leaned forward and Gabe caught a whiff of her perfume. She actually seemed interested now.
    "How can you say that? Behavior is much more complex than that."
    "You think so?"
    "I know so. And whatever this is, this radio rat study of yours proves it." She swiveled the screen of the laptop so they all could see it. "You have six rats that were engaged in sex, but if I have this straight you have, well, a lot of rats that just took off for no reason at all.Right?"
    "There was areason, I just don't know it yet."
    "But it wasn't food and it obviously wasn't sex."
    "I don't know yet. I suppose they could have been exposed to television violence."
    Theo was sitting back and watching now, enjoying two people with three decades of education between them puffing up like schoolyard bullies.
    "I'm a psychiatrist, not a psychologist. Our discipline has moved more toward physiological causes for behavior over the last thirty years, or hadn't you heard?" Val Riordan was actually grinning now.
    "I'm aware of that. I'm having the brain chemistry worked up on animals from both groups to see if there's a neurochemical explanation."
    "How do you do that again?" Theo asked.
    "You grind up their brains and analyze the chemicals," Gabe said.
    "That's got to hurt," Theo said.
    Val Riordan laughed. "I only wish I could diagnose my patients that way.Some of them anyway."
    Val Val Riordan couldn't remember the last time she'd enjoyed herself, but she suspected it was when she'd attended the Neiman-Marcus sale inSan Francisco two years ago.Food and sex indeed. This guy was so naive. But still, she hadn't seen anyone so passionate about pure research since med school, and it was nice to think about psychiatry in terms other than financial. She found herself wondering how Gabe Fenton would look in a suit, after a shower and a shave, after he'd been boiled to kill the parasites. Not bad, she thought.
    Gabe said, "I can't seem to identify any outside stimulus for this behavior, but I have to eliminate the possibility that it's something chemical or environmental. If it's affecting the rats, it might be affecting other species too. I've seen some evidence of that."
    Val thought about the wave of horniness that seemed to have washed over all of her patients in the last two days. "Could it be in the water, do you think?Something that might affect us?"
    "Could be.If it's chemical, it would take longer to affect a mammal as large as a human. You two haven't seen anything unusual in the last few days, have you?"
    Theo nearly spit his coffee out. "This town's a bug-house."
    "I'm not allowed to talk about my patients specifically," Val said. She was shaken. Of course there was some weird behavior. She'd caused it, hadn't she, by taking fifteen hundred people off of their medication at once? She had to get out of here. "But in general, Theo is right."
    "I am?" Theo said.
    "He is?" Gabe said.
    Jenny had returned to the table to fill their coffees. "Sorry I overheard, but I'd have to agree with Theo too."
    They all looked at her, then at each other. Val checked her watch. "I've got to get to an appointment.
    Gabe, I'd like to hear the results of the brain chemistry test."
    "You would?"
    "Yes."
    Val put some money on the table and Theo picked it up and handed it back to her, along with the dollar he'd put there earlier for her fee. "I need to talk to you about that other matter, Val."
    "Call me. I don't know if I can help though. Bye."
    Val left the cafe actually looking forward to seeing her patients, if for no other reason than to imagine grinding up each of