The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove

you need to take a timeout, young man."
    Theo Such a short period of time to have so many new experiences.In just the last few days, he had coordinated his first major missing person search, including talking to worried parents and the milk carton company, whose people wanted to know if Theo could get a picture of Mikey Plotznik where he wasn't making a contorted, goofy face at the camera. (If they found a better picture, Mikey would end up with great exposure on the two percent or nonfat cartons, but if they had to go with what they had, he was going on the side of the buttermilk and would only be seen by old folks and people making ranch dressing.) Theo had also had to deal with his first major fire, the hallucination of giant animal tracks, and opening a real live murder investigation, all without the benefit of his lifelong chemical crutch. Not that he couldn't nurse at his favoritepipe, he'd just lost the desire to do so.
    Now he had to decide how to go about investigating Bess Leander's murder. Should he pull someone
    in for interrogation? Pull them in where?His cabin? He didn't have an office. Somehow he couldn't imagine holding an effective interrogation with the suspect in a beanbag chair under a hot lava lamp.
    "Talk, scumbag! Don't make me turn the black light on that Jimi Hendrix poster and light some incense.
    You don't want that."
    And amid all the other activity, he felt a nagging compulsion to go back to theFly Rod Trailer Court and talk to Molly Michon.Crazy thoughts.
    Finally he decided to drop by Joseph Leander's house, hoping he might catch the salesman off guard.
    As he pulled into the driveway, he noticed that weeds had grown up around the garden gnomes and there was a patina of dust on the Dutch hex sign over the front door. The garage door was open and Joseph's minivan was parked inside.
    Theo paused at the front door before knocking and made sure that his ponytail was tucked into his collar and his collar was straight. For some reason, he felt as if he should be wearing a gun. He had one, a Smith Wesson.357 revolver, but it was on the top shelf of his closet, next to his bong collection.
    He rang the bell,then waited. A minute passed before Joseph Leander opened the door. He was wearing paint-spattered corduroys and an old cardigan sweater that looked like it had been pulled out of the trash a dozen times.Obviously not the sort of attire that Bess Leander would have allowed in her home.
    "Constable Crowe." Leander was not smiling. "What can I do for you?"
    "If you have a minute, I'd like to talk to you. May I come in?"
    "I suppose," Leander said. He stepped away from the door and Theo ducked in. "I just made some coffee. Would you like some?"
    "No thanks. I'm on duty." Cops are supposed to say that, Theo thought.
    "It's coffee."
    "Oh, right, sure.Milk and sugar please."
    The living room had bare pine plank floors and rag rugs. An antique pew bench took the place of a sofa, two Shaker chairs and a galvanized milk can with a padded cushion on the top provided the other seating. Three antique butter churns stood in the corners of the room. But for a new thirty-six-inch Sony by the fireplace, it could have been the living room of a seventeenth-century family (a family with very high cholesterol from all that butter).
    Joseph Leander returned to the living room and handed Theo a hand-thrown stoneware mug. The coffee was the color of butterscotch and tasted of cinnamon. "Thanks," Theo said."New TV?" He nodded to the Sony.
    Leander sat across from Theo on the milk can. "Yes, I got it for the girls.PBS and so forth. Bess never approved of television."
    "And so you killed her!"
    Leander sprayed a mouthful of coffee on the rug. "What?"
    Theo took a sip of his coffee while Leander stared at him, wide-eyed. Maybe he'd been a bit too abrupt. Fall back, regroup. "So did you get cable? Reception is horrible in Pine Cove without cable. It's the hills, I think."
    Leander blinked furiously and did a triple-take on Theo. "What are you talking about?"
    "I saw the coroner's report on your wife, Joseph. She didn't die from hanging."
    "You're insane. You were there." Leander stood and took the mug out of Theo's hands. "I won't listen to this. You can go now, Constable." Leander stepped back and waited.
    Theo stood. He wasn't very good at confrontation, he was a peace officer. This was too hard. He pushed himself. "Was it the affair with Betsy? Did Bess catch you?"
    Veins were beginning to show on Leander's bald