The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove

treatment?
    Maybe her cynicism was the problem. Of course she couldn't tell him about what she had done to her patients, but perhaps…
    A red light blinked on the tiny LED panel on her phone and the incoming call, screened by Chloe, who had obviously taken a short break from her self-abuse, scrolled across the screen. Constable Crowe, line one.Speaking of squirrels.
    She picked up the phone. "Dr. Riordan."
    "Hi, Dr. Riordan, this is Theo Crowe. I just called to tell you that you were right."
    "Thank you for calling, Constable. Have a nice day."
    "You were right about Bess Leander not taking the antidepressants. I just got a look at the toxicology report. There was no Zoloft in her system."
    Val stopped breathing.
    "Doctor, are you there?"
    All her worries about the drugs, this whole perverse plan, all the extra sessions, the long hours, the guilt, the friggin' guilt, and Bess Leander hadn't been taking her medication at all. Val felt sick to her stomach.
    "Doctor?"Theo said.
    Val forced herself to take a deep breath. "Why? I mean, when? It's been over a month. When did you find this out?"
    "Just today.I wasn't given access to the autopsy report. No one was. I'm sorry it took so long."
    "Well, thank you for letting me know, Constable. I appreciate it." She prepared to ring off.
    "Dr. Riordan, don't you have to get a medical history on your patients before you prescribe anything?"
    "Yes. Why?"
    "Do you know if Bess Leander had any heart problems?"
    "No, physically she was a very healthy woman, as far as I know. Why?"
    "No reason," Theo said. "Oh yeah, I never got your thoughts on the information I shared at breakfast.
    About Joseph Leander. I was still wondering if you had anythoughts? "
    The whole world had flip-flopped. Val had stonewalled up to now on Bess Leander because she had assumed that her own negligence had had something to do with Bess's death. What now, though? Really, she didn't know much about Bess at all. She said, "What exactly do you want from me, Constable?"
    "I just need to know, did she suspect her husband of having an affair? Or give you any indication that she might be afraid of him?"
    "Are you saying what I think you are saying? You don't think Bess Leander committed suicide?"
    "I'm not saying that. I'm just asking."
    Val searched her memory. What had Bess Leander said about her husband? "I remember her saying that she felt he was uninvolved in their family life and that she had laid down the law to him."
    "Laid down the law?In what way?"
    "She told him that because he refused to put the toilet seat down, he was going to have to sit down to pee from now on."
    "That's it?"
    "That's all I can remember. Joseph Leander is a salesman. He was gone a lot. I think Bess felt that he was somewhat of an intrusion on her and the girls' lives. It wasn't a healthy relationship." As if there is such a thing, Val thought. "Are you investigating Joseph Leander?"
    "I'd rather not say," Theo said. "Do you think I should be?"
    "You're the policeman, Mr. Crowe."
    "I am? Oh, right I am. Anyway, thanks, Doctor. By the way, my friend Gabe thought you were, uh, interesting, I mean, charming. I mean, he enjoyed talking with you."
    "He did?"
    "Don't tell him I said so."
    "Of course.Good-bye, Constable." Val hung up and sat back in her chair. She had unnecessarily put an entire town in emotional chaos, committed a basketful of federal crimes as well as breaking nearly every ethical standard in her field, and one of her patients had possibly been murdered, but she felt, well, sort of excited. Charming, she thought. He found me charming. I wonder if he really said "charming" or if Theo was just making that up – the pothead.
    Charming.
    She smiled and buzzed Chloe to send in her next appointment.
    sixteen Mavis The phone behind the bar rang and Mavis yanked it out of its cradle. "MountOlympus, Goddess of Sex speaking," she said, and there was a mechanical ratcheting noise as she cocked a hip while she listened. "No, I haven't seen him – like I would even tell you if he was here. Hell, woman, I have a sacred trust here – I can't rat out every husband who comes in for a snort after work. How would I know? Honey, you want to keep this kind of thing from happening? Two words: long, nasty blowjobs.
    Yeah, well, if you were doing them instead of counting words, then maybe you wouldn't lose your husband. Oh, all right, hold on."
    Mavis held her receiver to breast and shouted, "Hey!Anyone seen Les from the hardware store?" A