The McRae Series 01 - Twelve Days Sam and Rachel

hear, and maybe Rachel did, too. It was leap-of-faith time. They were down to nothing but that. Did Rachel have any faith left?
    "I don't think it's silly at all," she said. "And we all need reasons to hope."
    "I want to. I want to believe," Emma confided.
    "Then just do it, Emma. I'm not very good at it, either, but maybe if we both help each other we can manage. Let's believe something good is going to happen, rather than something bad. We'll make a pact. Okay?"
    Sad eyes slowly came up to hers. "You get scared, too?"
    "Of course." Emma leaned in closer. Rachel held on tight. "Did you think it was just you? That you were the only one who got scared?"
    Emma nodded.
    "Oh, baby." Rachel fought back tears. "You're so brave. I've been watching how you are with Zach and the baby through this whole thing, and you're so strong, Emma. You've inspired me and made me ashamed of myself. I've wished I were as strong and as brave as you."
    "But you're a grown-up," Emma said.
    "Supposed to be, anyway," Rachel said. "You know what? Why don't you let me work on being the strong one, the brave one. I need the practice. You let me do your worrying for you."
    "I could try," she said.
    "Good. Why don't you start by telling me what's been bothering you all day?"
    Emma shrugged and looked over to Zach, who hovered in obvious fascination around the horse.
    "Sam will stay close," Rachel said, knowing what the girl was thinking. "He'll make sure Zach doesn't get hurt. I know it can seem like Sam's kind of... mad at times. But it's not that. He's been through a lot. He's been hurt, too. He tries not to show it, and sometimes when he's hiding it..."
    "You think he's mad?"
    "Yes. It can look like he's mad. Or that he doesn't care. But he does. I think he cares a lot about you and Zach and the baby."
    "He doesn't like holding her," Emma said.
    "It's just hard. It reminds him of bad things that happened before. But it's not about Grace. Not at all."
    "Okay," Emma said.
    "You were upset when I walked into the kitchen yesterday morning. When you were talking to Sam. And at the doctor's. Can you tell me why?"
    Emma's face fell. "What was the blood for?"
    "It's a test." Rachel didn't suppose she could do anything but level with the little girl. "A test to see where you and Zach belong."
    "We know where we belong," she insisted.
    "And you won't tell us. So we're trying to find out. Emma, you can't expect us not to try to find out where you belong."
    "But the blood? It's for that stuff, isn't it? That stuff in blood... With the letters?"
    "DNA," Rachel said. "It can tell you who your parents are by matching your blood to theirs."
    "I know who my parents are."
    "Both of them?"
    "Yes," Emma said.
    "You could tell us where your father is?"
    "No. But I know who he is."
    "Then give us his name, Emma. We'll find him."
    "No. We can't go there."
    "Why not?"
    "We just can't. And I can't talk about it. I'm not supposed to."
    "Did your mother take you away from him? Is that why she's afraid of the police?"
    "I can't talk about it. Rachel, please..."
    "Grandparents?" she tried. "Aunts? Uncles?"
    "I can't say."
    "Okay." Rachel put her arm around the girl.
    "You said we could stay here. You said it was all right."
    "It is. I'm not trying to make you tell us about your parents to get rid of you, Emma. I'm just thinking that if I were your mother and I didn't know where you were, I'd be so worried. I'd want you back as soon as possible. And I know you and Zach and Grace would feel so much better to know where your mother is."
    Which was something Rachel didn't understand about this at all. All the children had to do was give them a name and a town, and someone would go find her. And yet the children wouldn't. They claimed that the same woman who abandoned them at that motel made them promise not to tell anyone who they were or where they belonged, and they'd kept that promise they made to her, even though they had to be terrified. It didn't make sense—this faith they had in the woman who'd deserted them.
    "Emma," she said. "Listen to me. I would do anything for you and Zach and Grace. Anything at all. And I'm going to be here for you, as long as you need me. Do you understand that?"
    "You said it was just until Christmas."
    "I know that's what we said at first." But Rachel couldn't turn her back on them now, and there was no reason to. As Miriam pointed out, she had the time, the energy. She had the love, too.
    She'd probably had all of that from the first moment