The Merchant of Menace

stuff. I think the last one was about a largely Hispanic town in Texas someplace. They don’t do that usual visiting researcher-questionnaire kind of thing. They just move in the neighborhood as ordinary people and learn about their neighbors.”
    Jane nodded. “I see. It makes sense. Come sit down and study the book, Shelley.“
    “Why? You want me to read the whole thing right now?“
    “No, I just want you to look at it thoroughly.”
    “Is this some kind of game? You must be really bored.”
    “Indulge me.”
    Shelley sat down and read the material on the front flap, skimmed the chapter headings, read the back cover flap, then turned the book over. She set it down on the table. “Okay, so I’ve looked it over and I still don’t get wha—”
    She frowned for a moment, picked the book back up and turned it over. She studied the picture of the authors for a long moment. Then she looked up at Jane. Her jaw dropped and her eyes opened very wide. “Jane—?“
    “Uh-huh?“
    “This picture,“ Shelley said haltingly. “You’ll think I’m crazy, but it looks like a glamour shot of Billy Joe and Tiffany.”

Seventeen

    “ That’s what I thought,“ Jane said.
    “How’d you get this book?“ Shelley asked.
    “It came to our house by accident. An entire box of them. The mail carrier had a bunch of boxes from my parents and unloaded this one on us too. The kids didn’t read the address label and ripped into it.”
    They hunched over the book, studying the picture closely. “Their hair is different. Both of them. And they’re ‘dressed for success’ in the picture,“ Jane said. “But I’m sure they’re the same people. They have the same teeth as the Johnson do. I always notice teeth. It’s stretching coincidence too far that they’d have exact doubles who just happened to send them a box full of books.”
    Shelley sat back, scowling. “So we’re their next guinea pigs, right? They’re doing this hillbilly act to shock the suburbanites and madly scribble down our reactions. That pisses me off.“
    “It hurts my feelings,“ Jane admitted. “I was going out of my way to like them, be nice to them, even defend them against the Concerned Citizen junk, and all the time they’re considering me a lab rat. If their other books were such bestsellers, that means they’re rich, probably highly sophisticated academics who are slumming.“
    “Right,“ Shelley said. “Wait while I get dressed.“
    “You’re getting dressed to go to bed when you’re already in your nightgown?“
    “No, we’re going to take that box of books to the rightful recipients.”
    The box was on the porch between them. Jane rang the bell and Tiffany opened the door. “Tiff, the post office accidentally gave me a package that belongs to you,“ Jane said. “I’m sorry to say my kids thought it was more Christmas packages from their grandparents and opened it.”
    She bent down and picked up one end of the box and Shelley got the other, although it didn’t require two of them to carry it. The point was to get in the house without handing the box over to Tiffany—or Dr. Lenore Johnson, to be more accurate.
    Tiffany looked alarmed. “Here you go, I’ll take it,“ she said.
    “No, no, we’ll put it inside,“ Shelley said, coming very close to physically shoving Tiffany aside.
    As arranged, Jane managed to trip going in the house and dropped her end of the box, which allowed a couple books to spill out.
    “Oh, dear, I’m so sorry,“ she said, almost bumping heads with Tiffany as they both leaned over very quickly to pick up books.
    Jane grabbed one while Tiffany frantically stuffed the others back.
    “Hmmm,“ Jane said, holding it up. “What an interesting-looking subject.“ She flipped it over. “And what attractive authors. Somehow I have the feeling they’re familiar.”
    She looked straight into Tiffany’s eyes and tossed the book into the box.
    Billy Joe had heard them talking and had come into the room. He was now standing behind Tiffany, who turned and looked at him panic-stricken, then back at Jane.
    “You know, don’t you?“ she asked.
    Jane nodded.
    “And you’re angry,“ Billy Joe said. It wasn’t a question.
    “We sure are,“ Shelley said.
    It was amazing the way his very appearance changed when he dropped the twangy speech and good of boy grin. Even wearing overalls and a plaid shirt, he looked like a college professor now.
    “I guess we should explain...“ Billy Joe (Dr.